10 Tweets From Synthetics That Are Woke AF

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Synthetics are officially #woke - here are 10 tweets proving it.

1. This synth has had enough of organic nonsense

2. When organics = trash

3. Sometimes woke truth isn’t pretty

4. This AI knows what’s up…

5. Brb just need to find something cold to apply to this synth burn

6. EDI’s #StayingWoke

7. This Lumia is maybe a little too woke?

8. This synth is playing the long game

9. #WokeConsensus

10. GLAADOS5 living her best life

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OMG You Won't Believe How Beautiful These Xeno Dental Makeovers Are!

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From time to time all xenos, whether a millennia old fungi or a brand new sapient synth, feel a little self-conscious about their looks.

And perhaps rightly so - studies have shown that a xeno’s appearance is the primary determining factor in who to purge in over 80% of cases.

So in a universe where your smile can mean the difference between life and death, it’s understandable why these xenos chose to fix their teeth with cosmetic nanobots - but OMG you won’t believe the result!


1a. Before surgery

Before surgery she was absolutely hideous…

1b. After surgery - beautiful!


2a. Ew, has this guy NEVER heard of a toothbrush?

Ew, like, has this guy NEVER heard of the toothbrush?

2b. WOW SO HANDSOME.

WOW I didn't notice he was this handsome!

3a. Vahaxxax here never used to be able to eat anything but marmalade :’{

Vahaxxax here never used to be able to eat anything but marmelade :’{

3b. But now he can snack on the crunchiest of xenos!

Now he can snack on even the crunchiest of xenos.

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8 Awakened Empires That You'll Relate To If You Struggle Waking Up

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Is there anything worse than waking up?

If it’s something you struggle with, you’re not alone.

These Fallen Empire species have just woke and they share your pain.


1. When someone accidentally wake you and the only measured response is to go full jingoistic reclamation on the galaxy

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2. When you awake early in the galactic cycle, but decide to just stay in your home system browsing social media for a few decades

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3. When you wake up and it’s just not possible to open your eyes, but then you remember you don’t have eyes

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4. When you wake up early in the morning and sit on the edge of your bed like

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5. When you wake up and display the five stages of wakening: 1. Extreme Agitation, 2. Extreme Agitation, 3. Extreme Agitation, 4. Extreme Agitation, 5. Extreme Agitation…

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6. That feeling when you’ve got doctrinal enforcing to do at 10am but it’s a Sunday


7. When you seriously consider only building Gateways in the hope that you might accidentally travel back to a time when you weren’t awake


8. That feeling when you’ve at 3 millenia of sleep but still don’t feel refreshed on wakening

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Sponsored: Hate waking up? Why not get nerve stapled? With this procedure, you can obliterate your nervous system’s sleep centre in seconds; you’ll never have to wake up again! For more info, visit us at Frontier Healthcare Clinics.

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12 Things That Are Terrifying AF When You're A Xenophobe

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Warning: May contain images some xenophobes find distressing.

1. WHAT EVEN IS IT?!

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2. OMG WHAT THE HELL

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3. AAAAAGGGH DON’T LOOK IN ITS ONE EYE

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4. OH WHAT THE F*CK IT HAS ONE EYE BUT IS FEATHERED

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5. WTF MORE FEATHERS?! LITERALLY SHAKING RN

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6. EVERY IMAGE IS A FRESH NEW HELL AND I WANT IT TO STOP

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7. NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

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8. WHOLE PLUME OF NOPE

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9. *SCREAMS*

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10. AJAH;FJSDSDJ;FJDDF THIS LONG HORSO WILL HAUNT ME FOREVER

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11. ITS BEAUTY IS TERRIFYING

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12. *SCREAMS AGAIN*

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Quiz: Eat your way through these regional xenos and we'll tell you a secret about yourself!