Galactic Security Council votes to approve planet-destroying superweapons

 Image: The Galactic Security Council have approved construction of planet-destroying Colossus-class ships. Pictured during a test-fire last month, CNS Behemoth fires upon the planet of Izir, which was selected for the honor via a galactic televote. [Image from @StellarisGame]

Image: The Galactic Security Council have approved construction of planet-destroying Colossus-class ships. Pictured during a test-fire last month, CNS Behemoth fires upon the planet of Izir, which was selected for the honor via a galactic televote. [Image from @StellarisGame]

Galactic United Nations HQ, Anward Space Station, Paravox System

The Galactic UN Security Council on Thursday voted unanimously 13-0 in favour of passing the 'Apocalypse Act', a decision which is expected to have widespread ramifications across the stellar expanse.

The emergency motion paves the way for space nations to legally construct previously banned weapons, including orbital defence ion cannons, Titan-class battleships and Colossus-class planet destroyers.

Galactic UN Director Anward held a press briefing earlier today in which he stated:

"Today marks a new beginning for galactic security, peace and prosperity. Yes, this is an exceptional measure, but we live in an exceptional time. For too long rogue space amoebas, pirates and cultists have terrorized young space nations. For too long the empires of the Outer Rim have warred amongst themselves as the Unbidden have proliferated. The Apocalypse Act will restore order and stability to the galaxy."

While individual empires are free to build defence systems and Titan-class ships of their own volition, Colossus-class ships are expected to be heavily regulated, with weapons systems being limited to five that have been pre-approved by the Security Council.

These include:

  • World Cracker: Fires a prolonged pulse of energy, shattering a planet.
  • Neutron Sweep: Destroys higher forms of life, leaving infrastructure intact.
  • Global Pacifier: Encases the planet in an impenetrable shield.
  • God Ray: Converts all organic pops to spiritualist and destroys all non-organic pops.
  • Nanobot Dispersal: Cyborgizes and assimilates all organic pops.

Militarist and authoritarian empires have applauded the Security Council's actions, as have mining corporations which are expected to benefit immensely from a boon in minerals with World Cracking.

 Image: The Galactic UN press conference offered a demo video on how 'Global Pacification' would work. [Image from @StellarisGame]

Image: The Galactic UN press conference offered a demo video on how 'Global Pacification' would work. [Image from @StellarisGame]

Pacifist and egalitarian empires have strongly opposed the move. One of the most vocal critics, Senator Bale Orgasna, from the one-planet minor of New Alderaan, told our newsdesk:

"... CHRIST NO NOT AGAIN! [aside] EVACUATE THE PLANET. EVACUATE IT NOW!"

Prominent rent-a-pacifist, Gaandee, continued:

"In a galaxy that is dark and full of weaponised terrors, and I cannot fathom how allowing even more destructive weapons will keep us safe. It also strikes me as convenient that the Security Council will get a cut from the profits of these weapons sold. Self serving much? I mean -- wait. Did someone say there was a ray that converts everyone to peace-loving spiritualists? Uh. Right. Excuse me - I need to, uh, make an appointment with uh [frowning at Shroud-enabled fax], the nearest shipyard." 

Public opinion on the news has been largely positive. Humanoid Ozy from The Forge told our Roving News Corvette:

"If everyone has big guns, then there's peace."

Seeking to reassure smaller empires who raised concerns about fleet power being concentrated in those with already advanced AI, Director Anward went on to state:

"I'd like to reassure those concerned not worry, we've thought long and hard about balance. Though nominally a military ship, Colossi have no actual fleet combat capability, so your grand navy of six naked corvettes will survive any planetary attack."

The Galactic UN did not respond to questions from reporters about how it plans to police underground black markets like the notorious 'Steam Workshop', where it is expected highly modified superweapons will be crafted and distributed.

 Image: Commercials have already begun circulating on the Steam Workshop blackmarket advertising 'modified' versions of the UN-approved superweapons.

Image: Commercials have already begun circulating on the Steam Workshop blackmarket advertising 'modified' versions of the UN-approved superweapons.

Shares on the Space Exchange Index (SExI) rallied on the news.

> More accurate reporting from Ashley Easterbrook could not be possible.