'Rosetta sofa' mysteries closer to being solved

'Rosetta sofa' mysteries closer to being solved

Image: Scientists tethered to the TUS Maa-Kaa express their awe as they study the enigmatic ‘Rosetta sofa’

Khersonia, Vi Madras System, Thelmar Union

Scientists from Khersonia's Science Academy today announced that they have successfully managed to reverse-engineer habitability technology from a stylish (yet affordable) sofa that was found floating in space.

The so-called 'Rosetta sofa' was first picked up on gravitic sensors in deep space early last year, but it wasn't until last month when it entered Thelmar's wormhole range that science ships were able to investigate further.

Thelmar scientist Mal'mou told our newsteam:

"From the moment we began this researching this anomaly we knew it was going to be big. We thought it would give us the universal blueprint to producing comfortable yet aesthetically pleasing seating suitable for the mass market. And oh, were we right!"

Preliminary testing reveals the sofa is non-sentient, and originates from an ancient manufactory in the Sol cluster named 'IKEA'.

The whereabouts and purpose of this manufactory remain elusive, as does why the durable (and competitively priced) sofa was found in the Gamma Nebula.

Despite the above questions remaining unanswered, the now dubbed 'IKEA technology' is expected to improve seating quality, and by extension planet quality and habitability on Khersonia by +5%, possibly even more if replica IKEA manufactories can be constructed.

> More accurate reporting from Ashley Easterbrook could not be possible.

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