Populist plantoid from literal banana republic dies, succession crisis ensues

  Image: President Chiquita as he assumed power in his youth.

Image: President Chiquita as he assumed power in his youth.

Pe'el Prime, Mu'sh System, Unified Banana Republic

The Unified Banana Republic (UBR) has been plunged into political crisis tonight following the sudden death of its enigmatic plantoid leader, President Chiquita.

Chiquita died at the age of 4 days old, far below the usual lifespan of 6 days for similar unrefrigerated plantoid-bananoid species.

The circumstances surrounding his death are still unclear, although he was known to suffer from chronic health problems, including premature ripening. Notably, questions were raised about his physical fitness to lead after he was spotted at an official government ceremony yesterday covered in soft brown patches.

From humble beginnings as a regular groundplant, Chiquita seized power on Pe'el Prime in a surprise military coup 3 days ago, and declared the inception of the galaxy's first literal banana republic shortly afterwards.

His proponents stated he rose to power on an ideological wave of pan-bananoidism (so-called 'bananorama'), but to his critics he was seen to be expertly exploiting anti-tomatoid sentiments to consolidate his position among the bananoid majority population.

He gained infamy for embarking on a series of brutal tomatoid purges across the planet in what is now dubbed 'The Night of Red Mist.'

While Chiquita styled the UBR as an inclusive democracy, the Galactic UN has long criticised its pro-oligarchic structure and plantoid rights abuses. The lack of due democratic process has left a significant power vacuum, with several of Chiquita's inner circle rumored to be competing to assume leadership.

> More accurate reporting from Ashley Easterbrook could not be possible.