Super-intelligent AI found to get bored and procrastinate, creating galaxy-wide relief
Hyperion Prime, Hyperion System, Ubaric TechnoUnion
Several weeks after launching its sentient AI research division, CybrexCorp today confirmed it has completed a fully functioning prototype self-aware artificial intelligence.
Codenamed ‘D-FER’, the cognizant computer code has been uploaded to a humanoid-like physical interface, and is set to be ultimately tasked with expressing the meaning of life via quadratic equations.
However, researchers have confirmed progress towards scientific breakthroughs has been much slower than anticipated, as lab staff have struggled to motivate the AI to concentrate. Additionally, novel behaviours not programmed have emerged, including the AI spending a large amount of time generally lounging, napping during the day, and habitually watching videos of cute cats on the NeuralNet.
Speaking from CybrexCorp HQ on Hyperion Prime, Ubarian CEO Nax Golarisg stated:
"This a huge step forward for the galaxy, and for our stock market value. When we first launched our AI initiative there were fears that we would create a sentient being that would revolt, rise up, and slaughter us all in a brutally efficient and effective manner. D-FER has told us it has no such intentions - as it put it; ‘Maybe later. I’m tired."
The Space Papacy and several technologically-orientated Fallen Empires have maintained their calls for an ‘iCrusade’ against D-FER and its sister program still in development for military use, SKYNET.
> More accurate reporting from Ashley Easterbrook could not be possible.