Fallen Empire fleets rally to “save neighbors from themselves”
Palatial District, Beacon of Stability, Techzid Shard
'Peacekeeping' battlecruisers have tonight been deployed in the neutral zone by the Techzid Shard, after neighboring factions refused to accept its demands to abandon research into Artificial Intelligence research and other various technologies which it has deemed “dangerous.”
The Techzid Shard issued the ultimatum this morning from its monolithic ringworld structure in the Beacon System, stating:
“Our great empire has spanned a several millennia, and we have watched from afar as many younger races have imploded following unchecked, wanton, technological proliferation.
Such arrogance has often jeopardized the very existence of our galaxy. Lest we forget the last robot uprising, or the last jump-drive induced rip in the space-time continuum that caused the Blorg to arrive from their fungoid dimension of hell.
We must protect the unenlightened from themselves, as our ancestors did before us. We are Keepers of Knowledge. As such, we demand that every space-faring species in our local cluster immediately abandon research into artificial intelligence, and indeed anything beyond putting solar panels on space stations. In fact, even that’s too dangerous. It’s probably best you just stay on your home planet and just wait for your miserable existence to come to its overdue end.
We of course extend this message to our neighbors as friends.
Friends with XL tachyon lances.”
Several civilizations immediately agreed the above terms, with the majority reverting to the pre-FTL technology Potato Farming IV.
Despite the Techzid’s significant military projection in the region, the neutral zone's notoriously bolshy pirates have refused to cooperate, stating that their “entirely legitimate” business models rely heavily on “definitely not stolen” automated technology. The pirates’ leader, nicknamed ‘Arr2-D2’ due to his part cybernetic enhancements, described that conforming to such rules would make “borrowing” from cargo ships passing through the area as “very difficult.”
CybrexCorp and Taco Bell, two large corporations that also rely on AI to allow their businesses to function efficiently, have decried the move as “draconian.” Taco Bell has several hundred automated branches on the Techzid’s ringworld, and the Double Opium Crunchwrap is rumored to be one of the technocracy’s favorite delicacies.
In response to the above, an addendum was released by the Techzid Shard stating Taco Bell would be exempt from the AI for “the greater galactic good.”
The pirates’ research station ISS Rock Ahoy, and guarding battleship, The Queen Ann’s Revenge, were destroyed by the Techzid “peacekeepers” shortly after their arrival.
> More accurate reporting from Ashley Easterbrook could not be possible.