Ecology

Adopted Space Amoeba ‘Bubbles’ missing, spacenation heartbroken

Image: Bubbles, the missing Space Amoeba.

Image: Bubbles, the missing Space Amoeba.

Iferysa Prime, Iferys System, Iferyx Amalgamated Fleets

The Iferyxi government have confirmed that Bubbles, the trade league’s beloved adopted Space Amoeba, has disappeared.

The alarm was raised yesterday after the juvenile female Amoeba failed to return home to Iferysia Prime after a several month stint hunting Tiyanki in unclaimed space.

The Amoeba was formally adopted by the Iferyxi one year ago after accidentally imprinting on its 3rd Fleet, which had just completed its mission of destroying her mother to make way for construction of an orbital mining station.

As the young Amoeba spent more time with the 3rd Fleet, she began to mirror its behaviour and became a formidable presence on the battlefield. Following a series of successful raids on Iferyxi space pirates, she was christened with her current name and became something of an unofficial mascot to the Iferyxi.

Space Amoeba, alongside Tiyanki and Crystalline Entities, are classed as endangered species. Several empires hunt Space Amoeba to use their flagella in ship design. Iferyxi Third Fleet admiral Zoltan One-Eye, who nurtured Bubbles, fears a similar fate may have befallen her, as he told Xenonion News:

“I just haven’t been able to sleep these past few days. She (it?) could be stuck out there in some shady system and get hurt. I worry some xenophobe or Leviathan will come across her (it?). I haven’t been this worried since we had that space referendum on what to name her and Euka came close to winning. I mean that was terrible. I’m so glad we thought of something better.”

Image: Zoltan One-Eye, however this name may be a misnomer as from it looks like he has three tiny little eyes.

Image: Zoltan One-Eye, however this name may be a misnomer as from it looks like he has three tiny little eyes.

While there is no concrete evidence regarding Bubble’s current whereabouts, the Iferyxi government have confirmed her last known location was the Vogen System, near to Gorgonaut space.

Xenonion News spoke to Captain Omnomnom, leader of the Gorgons;

“We would like to reassure our Iferyxi neighbours that we saw Bubbles quite recently. She was playing with another bunch of Space Amoeba in a brown dwarf system. She’s… in a better place now. Much happier. And never wants to return home, ever again. By the way, would you like to do a segment on how our ships have much better evasion? We installed these fancy new flagella, they look great.”

Image: Captain Omnomnom, leader of the Gorgons.

Image: Captain Omnomnom, leader of the Gorgons.

The Iferyxi government has called on anyone with information to Shroud Fax it to their emergency ‘Bubbles Sighted’ line, details of which can be found if you close your eyes really tight and think hard about it. 

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Scientists warn of Tiyanki 'armageddon' following dramatic drop in populations

ISS Palaver Science Nexus, Alpha System

Scientists are warning that Tiyanki face "extinction level armageddon" after a new study found that their population levels have declined by up to 75% in some clusters.

According to the study published this week in the Reddit Journal of Science, the dramatic decrease in Tiyanki could have disastrous consequences for agriculture and space ecology as a whole.

Image: The results published in the Reddit Journal of Science show that Tiyanki populations have decreased by almost 75% from 2000. With no conservation efforts, it's expected the species will be extinct by 2300.

Image: The results published in the Reddit Journal of Science show that Tiyanki populations have decreased by almost 75% from 2000. With no conservation efforts, it's expected the species will be extinct by 2300.

Fairly docile creatures, Tiyanki often migrate between systems in groups of three, grazing on local gas giants. They play an important role in maintaining solar ecology by regulating gas giant emissions. Several spacenations regard the creatures (and their milk especially) as a delicacy and often refer to them affectionately as 'space cows'.

For the last 27 years, researchers aboard the ISS Palaver Science Nexus been closely monitoring data from Tiyanki sampling sites across the inner rim.

Dr. Mordin Salus, the reptilian lead researcher, told our newsteam;

"It's funny how this study started. If you talk to xenos from across the galaxy, they all remember how Tiyanki used to smash on the windscreen of corvettes when journeying through a system. But now, that hardly happens. It's a very visceral reaction when you realise you don't see that mess all over your ship anymore."

Salus and his team petitioned the Galactic UN to fund the study following similar reports of declining irradiated cockroaches, space amoeba, and crystalline entity populations, alongsisde concerns about rising galactic temperatures.

The study used millions of advanced 'shock traps' that were placed in random sampling sites across the galaxy. The 'traps' consisted of FTL inhibitors to lure migrating Tiyanki, and tachyon lances to immediately kill them to allow for accurate biomass processing. By measuring the weight of each 'catch', data could be compared to previous observational studies, allowing researchers to obtain the exact drop in numbers.

 

Image: An example of a humane Tiyanki 'shock trap' in action above a gas giant planet - a popular feeding area for local Tiyanki.

Image: An example of a humane Tiyanki 'shock trap' in action above a gas giant planet - a popular feeding area for local Tiyanki.

The study suggests if current trends are extrapolated, the Tiyanki will be completely extinct by 2300. It has concluded that there are simply "too many unknown variables" to reach a definitive answer on the cause of the population drop, but it has hypothesized that habitat destruction, over-milking and aggressive starfleets are likely implicated.

Salus has stressed that it is his personal belief that the changes are xeno-driven, stating:

"Look, I know the study doesn't really offer a conclusion but that's because half the researchers sit on the boards of major Tiyanki milk conglomerates. But I can categorically tell you this is an ecological apocalypse of our own making. As dramatic as it sounds, you have to appreciate - it takes 10 compressed Tiyanki to even get 1ml of Tiyanki Milk. The galaxy consumes 10,000L of milk every 30 seconds. Just think about that."

Public response to the news has been muted, largely as Tiyanki meat and milk supplies have yet to be interrupted. Kelly Jones, a Blorg from St. Knatchbull told our U-Pollsters;

"I mean, they're kind of gross, so it's a bit hard to care. I'm pretty cut up about alien pets going extinct, but that's only because they're like sooooo cute."

Military personnel and pilots have reacted more positively, stating the reduced numbers of Tiyanki should make for safer flying and less radar cluttering.

The Trade Union for Recently Discovered FTL Nations (TURD-FTL) has expressed disappointment in the lack of public concern. A representative body for those new to the galactic stage, it warns the galaxy would mourn the loss of these 'repugnant creatures' who are often the first to terrify naive species venturing out into the great unknown.

The Galactic UN has highlighted it views Tiyanki conservation as a 'priority' and states it will address the issue urgently at the 2nd Galactic Conference for the Betterment of the Galactic Ecosystem (GCFTBOTGE) in 14 years time.

> More accurate reporting from Heuknaize & Ashley Easterbrook could not be possible.

> This issue was brought to you via avid newsreader @Mrrnegaderooster.

Xenophiles attempt to rescue stranded space amoeba

Image: The creature was relatively unharmed by the crash has already regenerated most of its body tissue.

Image: The creature was relatively unharmed by the crash has already regenerated most of its body tissue.

Ghulrak's Fortress, Ghulrak System, Soovi Harmonious Collective

The Soovi Harmonious Collective, a spacenation of xenophilic mammalians, has announced a daring plan to try and rescue a space amoeba which has become stranded on the arid world of Ghulrak's Fortress.

The massive amoeba is believed to have entered the Ghulrak's sphere of influence to warp out of the Ghulrak System with gravity assist. It appears as just as the amoeba was about to complete warp, it lost momentum and entered the atmosphere of the planet, crash landing. Local science station Schluumash VI has confirmed that the amoeba is still alive and, relatively speaking, in good condition but unable to leave the planet.

The incident has been classified as a Level 2 anomaly. A rescue operation will be difficult but not impossible according to Dischgu Shting, head spokesman of the Soovi Institute of Statecraft, Genetics, Xenology and Military Sciences (S.I.S.G.X.M.S).

“The stranded amoeba is simply too massive to make it back to orbit. While they appear graceful in the vacuum of space, they are not able to move very well within a pressurized environment. But fear not, the S.I.S.G.X.M.S. is already devising a plan to rescue it. We have no clue what said plan is going to be, but I am confident our capable scientists will figure something out. Heck, if nothing else works we could always nuke it back to orbit and wait for it to regenerate... Hold on, I’m gonna write that one down.”

At press time, several corvettes from the nearby Gu’thral Stellar Conglomerate were seen jumping towards Soovak. Space amoeba are considered a delicacy in Gu’thrali culture.

> More accurate reporting from Heuknaize could not be possible.

Controversial habitability study sparks wet/dry debate

Image: An image of the tomb world of Desolas, taken with a telescope from a distance of 26ly. The irradiated hue of the planet is visible as a green tinge, and is noted to be so toxic even Leviathans, like the Ether Drake pictured, avoid it.

Image: An image of the tomb world of Desolas, taken with a telescope from a distance of 26ly. The irradiated hue of the planet is visible as a green tinge, and is noted to be so toxic even Leviathans, like the Ether Drake pictured, avoid it.

Curator Space Station, Enclavia System, Neutral Zone

A recent scientific study undertaken by the Curators, a mysterious and ancient scientific order residing aboard an isolated spacestation, has controversially declared 'dry' planetary biomes to be equally as habitable as 'wet' planetary biomes.

The study was undertaken by 300,000 sapient lifeforms across 25,000 planets. Study participants were forcibly abducted from their homeworlds and involuntarily placed in a series of differing biomes every 2 years for a 20 year period. Following this, those that had survived were re-abducted and then asked to rate their experiences.

The results showed that of the 14% of respondents that survived, 'dry' and 'wet' planetary biomes were deemed to be both '50% habitable.' Tomb worlds were deemed the least habitable at 10%.

A coalition of 'wet' planets (continental, oceanic and tropical worlds) have decried the results, stating:

“The findings of this study are totally unacceptable! There was clear sample bias - 50% of the lifeforms sent to wet worlds either couldn't swim or were allergic to water. Our mortality rate would have been much lower had some species with gills been sent to us. And don't get me started on the questioning bias - those respondents that refused to comply were waterboarded. WATERBOARDED. Of course they'll hate wet planets! Just wait until this gets peer reviewed in the Reddit Journal of Science. It's going to get torn apart. It's clear that wet worlds have supported the most life in the galaxy for most of our evolutionary history, and it is offensive to state otherwise. We reject the findings and hope that the next expedition will find the correct results that we like.”

A second coalition of 'dry' planets (arid, desert, savanna worlds) reacted more positively to the findings:

“It's nice to see our worlds getting the recognition they deserve. For too long dry planets have been ignored erroneously in favour of wet ones. All planets are created equal, and it goes to show we really should only be judging planets based on tile size... and we all know wet worlds tend to be smaller. ... It also helps we tend to have more natural resources which can aid the Curators in their studies, which definitely did not influence the outcome of this study, nor help the Galactic UN Ethics Committee approve the research techniques."

Frozen planets, representing the so-called 'Frigid Biome' released a simple message stating they were happy the didn't get voted least habitable as per previous polls.

The study had one remarkable outlier in the dataset - the tomb world of Desolas, which had a record breaking habitability of -100%. It was scored as such as all organic study participants died immediately on relocation to the planet surface, nearly all due to irradiation sickness or feral giant cockroach attack.

At the time of writing, the coalition of 'Wet' planets has launched a 'Get Wet! Really Wet!' tourism campaign to promote wet world habitability.

> More accurate reporting from Xan’dolf Leexidanaca could not be possible.