Colossi

Colossus lost to lone Strike Craft

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The Voor Technocracy has been left reeling after its flagship Colossus-class planet cracker, the Quietus, was destroyed by a lone strike craft from the Keth Cooperative.

It is thought the Keth victory may break a deadlock in the 53 year-long border war between the two neighbouring space-nations which has engulfed the mid-Rim.

The tiny strike craft, Salmon One, was piloted by Keth native Luuk Skalvåker, who is now being hailed as a hero across the cluster.

It appears however the attack on the Colossus was entirely opportunistic, as the Salmon One had accidentally got left behind its carrier ship when the Keth fleet retreated from a failed incursion of Voor space. While Skalvåker was piloting home through enemy territory, he stumbled across the idle Quietus in the Scheat System.

The Colossus had only been constructed 1 year earlier by the Voor Technocracy at a huge cost. It had just completed a trial-run of planet cracking in Voor Space before it was to be set upon Keth core worlds.

Skalvåker, automatically set to aggressive stance, engaged the much larger Colossus with no choice in the matter. For five long years he vigorously attacked the gargantuan ship before eventually causing its weapon system to fail and explode, killing all ten thousand crew on board.

Skalvåker spoke of the attack to local news on returning home:

“My strategy was… well I didn’t have a strategy. I wasn’t doing anything to be honest. Luckily my Strike Craft’s ability to bypass shields and focus on armor plating meant it could actually do a little damage to the Quietus. Wearing down the armor was a slow process though, I just barely exceeded it’s monthly hull regeneration. It was a long five years, let me tell you.”

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Voor leadership has come under heavy criticism for both the loss of its flagship weapon, and as to why the Quietus was left undefended for such a protracted period of time.

Emperor Daft Fader of the Voor Technocracy released this statement at a press conference this morning:

"First of all I want to make it absolutely clear that the Strike Craft did not take out our most formidable weapon on its own- well technically it did since it was alone with the Colossus when she exploded, BUT much of the damage was caused by a large fleet battle six years prior to its destruction. So… there’s that.

Now, a lot of you are questioning where the Voor Fleets where when the Quietus was being attacked. Well… when you've ruled a large empire like mine for as long as I have, eventually you stop paying attention to the little "hostile fleet detected" notifications. My TeleShroud pager would've been buzzing non-stop otherwise. I assume most governments officials do the same thing. It pains me to say I was simply not aware that our Colossus was under attack."

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Galactic Security Council votes to approve planet-destroying superweapons

Image: The Galactic Security Council have approved construction of planet-destroying Colossus-class ships. Pictured during a test-fire last month, CNS Behemoth fires upon the planet of Izir, which was selected for the honor via a galactic televote. [Image from @StellarisGame]

Image: The Galactic Security Council have approved construction of planet-destroying Colossus-class ships. Pictured during a test-fire last month, CNS Behemoth fires upon the planet of Izir, which was selected for the honor via a galactic televote. [Image from @StellarisGame]

Galactic United Nations HQ, Anward Space Station, Paravox System

The Galactic UN Security Council on Thursday voted unanimously 13-0 in favour of passing the 'Apocalypse Act', a decision which is expected to have widespread ramifications across the stellar expanse.

The emergency motion paves the way for space nations to legally construct previously banned weapons, including orbital defence ion cannons, Titan-class battleships and Colossus-class planet destroyers.

Galactic UN Director Anward held a press briefing earlier today in which he stated:

"Today marks a new beginning for galactic security, peace and prosperity. Yes, this is an exceptional measure, but we live in an exceptional time. For too long rogue space amoebas, pirates and cultists have terrorized young space nations. For too long the empires of the Outer Rim have warred amongst themselves as the Unbidden have proliferated. The Apocalypse Act will restore order and stability to the galaxy."

While individual empires are free to build defence systems and Titan-class ships of their own volition, Colossus-class ships are expected to be heavily regulated, with weapons systems being limited to five that have been pre-approved by the Security Council.

These include:

  • World Cracker: Fires a prolonged pulse of energy, shattering a planet.
  • Neutron Sweep: Destroys higher forms of life, leaving infrastructure intact.
  • Global Pacifier: Encases the planet in an impenetrable shield.
  • God Ray: Converts all organic pops to spiritualist and destroys all non-organic pops.
  • Nanobot Dispersal: Cyborgizes and assimilates all organic pops.

Militarist and authoritarian empires have applauded the Security Council's actions, as have mining corporations which are expected to benefit immensely from a boon in minerals with World Cracking.

Image: The Galactic UN press conference offered a demo video on how 'Global Pacification' would work. [Image from @StellarisGame]

Image: The Galactic UN press conference offered a demo video on how 'Global Pacification' would work. [Image from @StellarisGame]

Pacifist and egalitarian empires have strongly opposed the move. One of the most vocal critics, Senator Bale Orgasna, from the one-planet minor of New Alderaan, told our newsdesk:

"... CHRIST NO NOT AGAIN! [aside] EVACUATE THE PLANET. EVACUATE IT NOW!"

Prominent rent-a-pacifist, Gaandee, continued:

"In a galaxy that is dark and full of weaponised terrors, and I cannot fathom how allowing even more destructive weapons will keep us safe. It also strikes me as convenient that the Security Council will get a cut from the profits of these weapons sold. Self serving much? I mean -- wait. Did someone say there was a ray that converts everyone to peace-loving spiritualists? Uh. Right. Excuse me - I need to, uh, make an appointment with uh [frowning at Shroud-enabled fax], the nearest shipyard." 

Public opinion on the news has been largely positive. Humanoid Ozy from The Forge told our Roving News Corvette:

"If everyone has big guns, then there's peace."

Seeking to reassure smaller empires who raised concerns about fleet power being concentrated in those with already advanced AI, Director Anward went on to state:

"I'd like to reassure those concerned not worry, we've thought long and hard about balance. Though nominally a military ship, Colossi have no actual fleet combat capability, so your grand navy of six naked corvettes will survive any planetary attack."

The Galactic UN did not respond to questions from reporters about how it plans to police underground black markets like the notorious 'Steam Workshop', where it is expected highly modified superweapons will be crafted and distributed.

Image: Commercials have already begun circulating on the Steam Workshop blackmarket advertising 'modified' versions of the UN-approved superweapons.

Image: Commercials have already begun circulating on the Steam Workshop blackmarket advertising 'modified' versions of the UN-approved superweapons.

Shares on the Space Exchange Index (SExI) rallied on the news.

> More accurate reporting from Ashley Easterbrook could not be possible.