Lyria

Empire ‘overwhelmed’ by trade requests for strategic resource

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Diplomats from the Lorax League have issued a cease-and-desist orders to 18 neighbouring space-nations in a bid to quell what they describe as a “tidal wave” of trade requests for Terraforming Liquids.

Following a chance discovery of resource-rich frozen planets last month, the Lorax have become the galaxy’s largest producer of the rare resource, which is highly valued for its eponymous role in terraforming.

Image: The Lorax League recently discovered what it called "ridiculously huge" amounts of Terraforming Liquids on the frozen planet of Gianfor X and its large moon Gianfor XI.

Image: The Lorax League recently discovered what it called "ridiculously huge" amounts of Terraforming Liquids on the frozen planet of Gianfor X and its large moon Gianfor XI.

As the Lorax mines are publicly owned, the government retains all access right to the massive stockpile of three Terraforming Liquids. Due to this, the League’s Department of Intergalactic Trade (DIT) has been fielding an increasing number of trade enquiries. Zorgen Florgen, deputy trade minister, told our newsteam;

“Honestly gaining this strategic resource has been an absolute curse. We don't have the energy credits yet to start terraforming so we have to just sit on it - which means everyone else thinks we're not using it. I mean come on, we picked World Shapers as an ascendancy perk for Worm's sake!

Not only that but the trade deals offered are downright offensive. The other day I got a request for a 10 year lease on our Terraforming Liquids in exchange for 200 minerals and star charts. STAR CHARTS. Seriously. Does anyone even know how much 10-year access to Terraforming liquids is worth? Why is someone offering us minerals we can mine in a day?"

Image: A typical example of a trade deal the Lorax League receives on a daily basis, with a typical example of an unimpressed Lorax diplomat.

Image: A typical example of a trade deal the Lorax League receives on a daily basis, with a typical example of an unimpressed Lorax diplomat.

Interns at the DIT are reportedly spending up to 17 hours a day declining trade deals. One insider, who wished to remain anonymous, told us:

“I don’t even read incoming trade proposals anymore. I’ve just set all new requests to auto-decline after a few weeks of sitting on my desk."

Trade is a particularly sensitive issue for the Lorax government, following the leak of a recent internal report which confirmed the DIT had issued a number of trade deals to the same empire which cancelled each other out. Florgen refused to comment on this, but our anonymous source continued:

“Oh, yeah we were idiots on this one. So basically we were trading 10 minerals per month to Sentinel Systems, our neighbours, for 10 energy credits per month. Standard 10 year deal. But somewhere along the line we accidentally made another deal and traded 10 energy credits per month for 10 minerals per month, for 10 years. So… we’re effectively not trading at all.”

Materialists from across the galaxy have been calling on the Galactic UN to overhaul trade laws, to include more flexible trade agreements, an index of all available resources, and minimum pricing tariffs for strategic resources.

The Galactic UN responded, stating it was aware of the issue but its priority at present remains on legalizing the construction of planet-destroying superweapons.

Florgen, on hearing this news, told us:

“I now finally understand how fanatical purifiers come about…”

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Area xenophile unexpectedly closes borders, rejects refugees

Image: The Polity Matriarch Posing on a poster advertising the empire’s new stance on immigration.

Image: The Polity Matriarch Posing on a poster advertising the empire’s new stance on immigration.

Lyria, Argea System, Lyrian Polity

The Lyrian Polity has unexpectedly closed their borders to all non-allied empires.

Eleven years ago, the fanatically xenophilic empire vowed to give shelter to more refugees than any other nation, a goal which has been generally successful.

However, ongoing conflicts such as the outbreak of war in neighbouring Cevanti systems and the ongoing Unbidden invasion of the Outer Rim has dramatically increased the number of pops seeking shelter on Lyrian plaents, which are struggling to integrate the refugee influx. Lyria has also been weakened politically after the Unbidden declined an invitation to join its federation last month after disintegrating a diplomatic attache sent to its home portal.

Leader of the Polity, Matriarch Athaea, explains the situation:

"We realize this [the immigration] is at least partly a problem because we chose the "Free Haven" civic, and that changing this would reduce the problem. However, we can currently not afford the influence cost of a government reformation, as we spent so much in the last election in order to ensure my 7th term as ruler.”

In order to gain the time needed to develop a more efficient way to integrate aliens and make alien-friendly adaptations to all habitable zones, the Lyrian Polity has broken twelve migration treaties, set their immigration policy to "citizen species only", demolished a tourist centre and closed their borders completely to all empires except the members of the Harmonious Axis federation. But the Polity Matriarch empathizes that the actions taken temporary solutions, and the current policies will only remain active for a minimum of ten years.

Response from citizens in the Lyrian Polity has been mixed. In particular, the dominant Xeno Freedom Society has been upset by the move. Faction leaders told The Xenonion that the refugees have been nothing but helpful, as the influx of happy, industrious pops have boosted mineral production in planets suffering from slow growth. On the ground, unrest has arisen in many sectors with a strong Xeno Freedom presence, even driving production to a halt on some planets. A common battle cry among protesters has been "Not my Matriarch!"

The effects can already be felt across the galactic community and the Galactic UN has called an emergency meeting of the ruling council.

The Xenonion interviewed Damm Eylee'ens, diplomatic representative from the xenophobic Xenda'ar Conglomerate.

"Hypocrisy,  that's what it is. First the Lyrians lecture every single member of Galactic UN about the importance of "helping your neighbour". Then, at the first sign of trouble, they close their borders like a xenophobic Fallen Empire. At least we were honest about our opinion that all alien life is a sickness that we must get rid of."

Among the few empires to view this as a positive development is Saiiban Flock, a Hive Mind who generously invites refugees of all social castes to come and visit their empire.

> More accurate reporting from Heuknaize could not be possible

Fanatic xenophiles vote to offer Unbidden federation membership

Image: The Lyrian Polity delegation officially announces the invitation at the Harmonius Axis summit. Unfortunately, the Unbidden could not send a delegation. Image modified from Tom Page on Flickr.

Image: The Lyrian Polity delegation officially announces the invitation at the Harmonius Axis summit. Unfortunately, the Unbidden could not send a delegation. Image modified from Tom Page on Flickr.

Lyria, Argea System, Lyrian Polity

The Lyrian Polity, a founding member of the Harmonious Axis federation, has initiated voting to allow the Unbidden to become a federation member.

This follows the Unbidden’s invasion and subsequent purging of Lyria’s neighbour and main trading partner, the Uri Nation.

Addressing delegates at the federation council's biweekly summit on Lyria, Polity Matriarch Athaea stated:

“My friends, our proposal today to invite the Unbidden into our federation continues our long tradition of pacifism, friendship, equality, tolerance and overwhelmingly annoying liberalism. For too long the species of this galaxy have been at war, for too long diplomacy has been a broken tool, and for too long already has this speech gone on, using cliched political rhetoric.

Yes, the Unbidden have engaged in a non-stop genocide of every civilisation they have encountered. And yes, they have declined our offer of federation association status, which in retrospect must have been very insulting to them. But we must try to include those who are different, irrespective of whether they are trying to destroy everything we hold dear.

I hope you will agree with us in voting to allow the Unbidden to join our federation, and secure peace and prosperity for all.”

The six predominantly xenophile/pacifist members of the federation are set to vote later this evening. Early reports indicate the proposal will be universally backed.

The Unbidden have yet to respond to any diplomatic overtures, preferring to instead focus on indiscriminate, systematic annihilation of all non-Unbidden lifeforms.

If the vote passes, a diplomatic attaché is set to depart from Lyria tomorrow, bound for the nearest Unbidden anchor to deliver the proposal.

If the Unbidden were to accept membership, then they would need to adopt strict federation rules including only being able to engage in defensive wars, accepting all galactic refugees, and granting all species equal citizenship. This would then qualify them for membership in the Galactic UN, and - given their military strength - a seat on the coveted Space Security Council.

> More accurate reporting from Ashley Easterbrook could not be possible