Lyrian Polity

Federation member kicked after declining 363 war declaration requests

Redguard, Alcaire System, Thelmar Union

The Themlar Union government today confirmed it has been formally ejected from the Just Alliance federation.

The announcement follows several months of escalating diplomatic tensions and disputes within the formerly 6-member federation over foreign policy.

The vote to remove the Thelmar Union was initiated this morning by the militaristic Bwauki Multisystem, the current rotating federation leader. Member states voted in favour of the motion 5-0, with the Thelmar Union abstaining as it accidentally missed the notification that the vote had been started.

In a press statement issued this morning, Bwauki diplomats cited the vote was put in place due to “irreparable differences” between the Thelmar Union and other federation members regarding war declaration votes.

This appears to be directly related to the Thelmar Union blocking the Bwauki Multisystem's longstanding attempts to press claims on its larger and more powerful non-federated neighbour, the Cevanti Empire.

Image: Thelmar Union prime minister Smudge, who should never be rubbed on his belly.

Image: Thelmar Union prime minister Smudge, who should never be rubbed on his belly.

Themar Union Prime Minister Smudge told Xenonion News:

“We are deeply saddened by today’s outcome - as founding members of the Just Alliance we still truly believe in its original principles of xenophilia, pacifism and +100 member state trust. I don't believe those values are reflected today. However, our reasons for rejecting the Bwauki war proposals were more simple - we know we'd have to do all the work. The Bwauki navy is non-existent - they'd get torn apart by the Cevanti. Given we're neighbouring them, they would definitely be expecting us to step in. We've had enough."

Political observers agree Bwauki space command would be unlikely to overcome a Cevanti incursion given its small fleet cap and the fact they have retrofitted the previously highly adaptable federation fleet to only have flak cannons, for no apparent reason.

The original vote for a war declaration was initiated several months ago, and required all member states of the federation to consent in order for it to pass. Tensions escalated when after the vote failed initially, the Bwauki Multisystems proceeded to repeat the vote 362 more times over the space of 3 months.

Smudge continued;

"Can you imagine trying to process 363 war declaration requests since the Galactic UN outlawed embassies?"

Each time the Thelmar Union rejected the war proposal, it suffered a massive opinion malus with the Bwauki, to the point where the relationship could no longer be repaired.

Image: Bwauki president Scree, who seems acutely unaware of the fact he is not wearing any clothing.

Image: Bwauki president Scree, who seems acutely unaware of the fact he is not wearing any clothing.

Bwauki president Scree declined to speak to Xenonion News, but in a public press conference he told reporters his reasoning behind removing the Thelmar Union from the Just Alliance was;

“Well... they rejected our proposals.”

The remaining federation members; the Lyrian Polity (xenophilic), Glukkonian Guild (materialists), Uri Nation (egalitarian) and the Eredi Assembly (egalitarian) all backed the Bwauki Proposal.

Image: Lyrian Polity matriarch Lyssa.

Image: Lyrian Polity matriarch Lyssa.

Matriarch Lyssa of the Lyrian Polity told Xenonion News;

“We are natural allies with the Thelmar Union so this whole process has been very difficult for us. Having said that, we just needed the notifications to stop. There were so. many. notifications. We've actually just formally closed our foreign affairs office to make it stop for a while."

The Thelmar Union was the federation's largest and most powerful member, and opposition parties in remaining states have warned the Bwauki vote has left the Just Alliance severely weakened.

As the Bwauki government prepares to initiate its 364th war declaration vote, which is now expected to pass as long as the Lyrian Polity remembers to open its foreign affairs office, critics have called upon the Galactic UN to overhaul federation mechanics and laws to prevent similar events from happening again.

I - Signoff, Ashley.png

Empire ‘overwhelmed’ by trade requests for strategic resource

Lyria, Argea System, Lyrian Polity

Diplomats from the Lyrian Polity (LP) have issued a cease-and-desist order to 18 neighbouring spacenations in a bid to quell what they describe as a “tidal wave” of trade requests for Terraforming Liquids.

Following a chance discovery of resource-rich frozen planets last month, the LP has become the galaxy’s largest producer of the rare resource, which is highly valued for its eponymous role in terraforming.

Image: The Lyrian Polity recently discovered what it called "ridiculously huge" amounts of Terraforming Liquids on the frozen planet of Gianfor X and its large moon Gianfor XI.

Image: The Lyrian Polity recently discovered what it called "ridiculously huge" amounts of Terraforming Liquids on the frozen planet of Gianfor X and its large moon Gianfor XI.

As the LP’s mines are publicly owned, the government retains all access right to the massive stockpile of three Terraforming Liquids. Due to this, the LP’s Department of Intergalactic Trade (DIT) has been fielding an increasing number of trade enquiries. Zorgen Florgen, deputy trade minister, told our newsteam;

“Honestly gaining this strategic resource has been an absolute curse. We don't have the energy credits yet to start terraforming so we have to just sit on it - which means everyone else thinks we're not using it. I mean come on, we picked World Shapers as an ascendancy perk for Worm's sake!

Not only that but the trade deals offered are downright offensive. The other day I got a request for a 10 year lease on our Terraforming Liquids in exchange for 200 minerals and star charts. STAR CHARTS. Seriously. Does anyone even know how much 10-year access to Terraforming liquids is worth? Why is someone offering us minerals we can mine in a day?"

Image: A typical example of a trade deal the Lyrian Polity receives on a daily basis, with a typical example of an unimpressed Lyrian diplomat.

Image: A typical example of a trade deal the Lyrian Polity receives on a daily basis, with a typical example of an unimpressed Lyrian diplomat.

Interns at the DIT are reportedly spending up to 17 hours a day declining trade deals. One insider, who wished to remain anonymous, told us:

“I don’t even read incoming trade proposals anymore. I’ve just set all new requests to auto-decline after a few weeks of sitting on my desk."

Trade is a particularly sensitive issue for the Lyrian government, following the leak of a recent internal report which confirmed the DIT had issued a number of trade deals to the same empire which cancelled each other out. Florgen refused to comment on this, but our anonymous source continued:

“Oh, yeah we were idiots on this one. So basically we were trading 10 minerals per month to Sentinel Systems, our neighbours, for 10 energy credits per month. Standard 10 year deal. But somewhere along the line we accidentally made another deal and traded 10 energy credits per month for 10 minerals per month, for 10 years. So… we’re effectively not trading at all.”

Materialists from across the galaxy have been calling on the Galactic UN to overhaul trade laws, to include more flexible trade agreements, an index of all available resources, and minimum pricing tariffs for strategic resources.

The Galactic UN responded, stating it was aware of the issue but its priority at present remains on legalizing the construction of planet-destroying superweapons.

Florgen, on hearing this news, told us:

“I now finally understand how fanatical purifiers come about…”

> More accurate reporting from Ashley Easterbrook could not be possible.

Survey reveals significant numbers of fleet admirals overworked, substance misusing

Image: The CRASH survey highlights significant concerns raised by fleet admirals.

Image: The CRASH survey highlights significant concerns raised by fleet admirals.

Lyria, Argea System, Lyrian Polity

Admirals across the galaxy feel that their concerns are not being taken seriously by their respective governments, a new survey has revealed.

The Critical Review of Admiral Satisfaction & Happiness (CRASH) survey is an annual poll undertaken by members of the Guild Academy for Generals & Admirals (GAGA), a pan-galactic representative body for military command personnel.

The 14,000 respondents to CRASH represented almost all fleet admirals working in the known regions of space, across nearly 6,000 empires.

Worryingly, only 11% indicated they were happy in their current job, and 93% had 'extreme concerns' about remaining employed as a fleet admiral.

The most commonly cited concerns included being dangerously fatigued through managing extremely large fleets, feeling overwhelmed by complex operations micromanagement, safety concerns over ineffective emergency warp protocols and personal health concerns over high rates of substance misuse traits in older admirals.

On average, over 70% of admirals aged over 120 had some form of acquired negative trait, with substance misusing being the most common. Admirals commanding fleets of over 400 ships were also more likely to be substance misusing, and rated their happiness lowest.

Interestingly, those working on 'atypical' contracts, such as pirate outfits, rated their happiness highest.

The results also highlight a mistrust of governing bodies. Only 41% of admirals polled felt their governments took safety protocols seriously.

Earlier this year, United Nations of Earth (UNE) retired admiral A.K. Barr warned that some of his former colleagues were being forced to work for up to 17 years without an adequate break. He subsequently resigned amid failures of the UNE government to address lengthy emergency warp times and the longstanding issue of transport fleets perpetually renaming themselves.

These sentiments were echoed by Lyrian Polity admiral Belessaria P'Sayle, who told our newsteam:

"For too long our warnings have gone unheeded. Admirals have a huge responsibility and play a vital role in keeping the galaxy's military-industrial complexes profitable. Yet we have no quality of life. Have you ever tried to command anything beyond your own body? Can you imagine commanding several thousand other bodies aboard several hundred ships? This is what we're expected to do, for our entire lifespan. We're tired. It's not safe, and it's not fair."

Admirals such as Barr and P'Sayle have welcomed the introduction of so-called 'doomstack regulations' by the Galactic UN, but feel this doesn't go far enough to address the above problems. P'Sayle continued:

"I'm glad they're introducing fleet caps. That at least means we'll be commanding smaller fleets, meaning we're less stressed. It should also mean that more admirals are hired. But why is no-one talking about improved pay, or retiring before we die from old age on our flagship? These are the core issues we need addressed."

Some admirals have called for pan-galactic unionization through the Guild Academy for Generals and Admirals, however this would need to be formalized through a ballot.

Individual governments have already warned against such a move, stating that could potentially amount to individual admirals committing high treason.

The Galactic UN has reported it is working "diligently" to address "issues adversely affecting admirals and fleets", with 'doomstack regulation' being the first legislative step towards this.

> More accurate reporting from Ashley Easterbrook could not be possible

Area xenophile unexpectedly closes borders, rejects refugees

Image: The Polity Matriarch Posing on a poster advertising the empire’s new stance on immigration.

Image: The Polity Matriarch Posing on a poster advertising the empire’s new stance on immigration.

Lyria, Argea System, Lyrian Polity

The Lyrian Polity has unexpectedly closed their borders to all non-allied empires.

Eleven years ago, the fanatically xenophilic empire vowed to give shelter to more refugees than any other nation, a goal which has been generally successful.

However, ongoing conflicts such as the outbreak of war in neighbouring Cevanti systems and the ongoing Unbidden invasion of the Outer Rim has dramatically increased the number of pops seeking shelter on Lyrian plaents, which are struggling to integrate the refugee influx. Lyria has also been weakened politically after the Unbidden declined an invitation to join its federation last month after disintegrating a diplomatic attache sent to its home portal.

Leader of the Polity, Matriarch Athaea, explains the situation:

"We realize this [the immigration] is at least partly a problem because we chose the "Free Haven" civic, and that changing this would reduce the problem. However, we can currently not afford the influence cost of a government reformation, as we spent so much in the last election in order to ensure my 7th term as ruler.”

In order to gain the time needed to develop a more efficient way to integrate aliens and make alien-friendly adaptations to all habitable zones, the Lyrian Polity has broken twelve migration treaties, set their immigration policy to "citizen species only", demolished a tourist centre and closed their borders completely to all empires except the members of the Harmonious Axis federation. But the Polity Matriarch empathizes that the actions taken temporary solutions, and the current policies will only remain active for a minimum of ten years.

Response from citizens in the Lyrian Polity has been mixed. In particular, the dominant Xeno Freedom Society has been upset by the move. Faction leaders told The Xenonion that the refugees have been nothing but helpful, as the influx of happy, industrious pops have boosted mineral production in planets suffering from slow growth. On the ground, unrest has arisen in many sectors with a strong Xeno Freedom presence, even driving production to a halt on some planets. A common battle cry among protesters has been "Not my Matriarch!"

The effects can already be felt across the galactic community and the Galactic UN has called an emergency meeting of the ruling council.

The Xenonion interviewed Damm Eylee'ens, diplomatic representative from the xenophobic Xenda'ar Conglomerate.

"Hypocrisy,  that's what it is. First the Lyrians lecture every single member of Galactic UN about the importance of "helping your neighbour". Then, at the first sign of trouble, they close their borders like a xenophobic Fallen Empire. At least we were honest about our opinion that all alien life is a sickness that we must get rid of."

Among the few empires to view this as a positive development is Saiiban Flock, a Hive Mind who generously invites refugees of all social castes to come and visit their empire.

> More accurate reporting from Heuknaize could not be possible

Fanatic xenophiles vote to offer Unbidden federation membership

Image: The Lyrian Polity delegation officially announces the invitation at the Harmonius Axis summit. Unfortunately, the Unbidden could not send a delegation. Image modified from Tom Page on Flickr.

Image: The Lyrian Polity delegation officially announces the invitation at the Harmonius Axis summit. Unfortunately, the Unbidden could not send a delegation. Image modified from Tom Page on Flickr.

Lyria, Argea System, Lyrian Polity

The Lyrian Polity, a founding member of the Harmonious Axis federation, has initiated voting to allow the Unbidden to become a federation member.

This follows the Unbidden’s invasion and subsequent purging of Lyria’s neighbour and main trading partner, the Uri Nation.

Addressing delegates at the federation council's biweekly summit on Lyria, Polity Matriarch Athaea stated:

“My friends, our proposal today to invite the Unbidden into our federation continues our long tradition of pacifism, friendship, equality, tolerance and overwhelmingly annoying liberalism. For too long the species of this galaxy have been at war, for too long diplomacy has been a broken tool, and for too long already has this speech gone on, using cliched political rhetoric.

Yes, the Unbidden have engaged in a non-stop genocide of every civilisation they have encountered. And yes, they have declined our offer of federation association status, which in retrospect must have been very insulting to them. But we must try to include those who are different, irrespective of whether they are trying to destroy everything we hold dear.

I hope you will agree with us in voting to allow the Unbidden to join our federation, and secure peace and prosperity for all.”

The six predominantly xenophile/pacifist members of the federation are set to vote later this evening. Early reports indicate the proposal will be universally backed.

The Unbidden have yet to respond to any diplomatic overtures, preferring to instead focus on indiscriminate, systematic annihilation of all non-Unbidden lifeforms.

If the vote passes, a diplomatic attaché is set to depart from Lyria tomorrow, bound for the nearest Unbidden anchor to deliver the proposal.

If the Unbidden were to accept membership, then they would need to adopt strict federation rules including only being able to engage in defensive wars, accepting all galactic refugees, and granting all species equal citizenship. This would then qualify them for membership in the Galactic UN, and - given their military strength - a seat on the coveted Space Security Council.

> More accurate reporting from Ashley Easterbrook could not be possible