Thelmar Union

Federation member kicked after declining 363 war declaration requests

Redguard, Alcaire System, Thelmar Union

The Themlar Union government today confirmed it has been formally ejected from the Just Alliance federation.

The announcement follows several months of escalating diplomatic tensions and disputes within the formerly 6-member federation over foreign policy.

The vote to remove the Thelmar Union was initiated this morning by the militaristic Bwauki Multisystem, the current rotating federation leader. Member states voted in favour of the motion 5-0, with the Thelmar Union abstaining as it accidentally missed the notification that the vote had been started.

In a press statement issued this morning, Bwauki diplomats cited the vote was put in place due to “irreparable differences” between the Thelmar Union and other federation members regarding war declaration votes.

This appears to be directly related to the Thelmar Union blocking the Bwauki Multisystem's longstanding attempts to press claims on its larger and more powerful non-federated neighbour, the Cevanti Empire.

Image: Thelmar Union prime minister Smudge, who should never be rubbed on his belly.

Image: Thelmar Union prime minister Smudge, who should never be rubbed on his belly.

Themar Union Prime Minister Smudge told Xenonion News:

“We are deeply saddened by today’s outcome - as founding members of the Just Alliance we still truly believe in its original principles of xenophilia, pacifism and +100 member state trust. I don't believe those values are reflected today. However, our reasons for rejecting the Bwauki war proposals were more simple - we know we'd have to do all the work. The Bwauki navy is non-existent - they'd get torn apart by the Cevanti. Given we're neighbouring them, they would definitely be expecting us to step in. We've had enough."

Political observers agree Bwauki space command would be unlikely to overcome a Cevanti incursion given its small fleet cap and the fact they have retrofitted the previously highly adaptable federation fleet to only have flak cannons, for no apparent reason.

The original vote for a war declaration was initiated several months ago, and required all member states of the federation to consent in order for it to pass. Tensions escalated when after the vote failed initially, the Bwauki Multisystems proceeded to repeat the vote 362 more times over the space of 3 months.

Smudge continued;

"Can you imagine trying to process 363 war declaration requests since the Galactic UN outlawed embassies?"

Each time the Thelmar Union rejected the war proposal, it suffered a massive opinion malus with the Bwauki, to the point where the relationship could no longer be repaired.

Image: Bwauki president Scree, who seems acutely unaware of the fact he is not wearing any clothing.

Image: Bwauki president Scree, who seems acutely unaware of the fact he is not wearing any clothing.

Bwauki president Scree declined to speak to Xenonion News, but in a public press conference he told reporters his reasoning behind removing the Thelmar Union from the Just Alliance was;

“Well... they rejected our proposals.”

The remaining federation members; the Lyrian Polity (xenophilic), Glukkonian Guild (materialists), Uri Nation (egalitarian) and the Eredi Assembly (egalitarian) all backed the Bwauki Proposal.

Image: Lyrian Polity matriarch Lyssa.

Image: Lyrian Polity matriarch Lyssa.

Matriarch Lyssa of the Lyrian Polity told Xenonion News;

“We are natural allies with the Thelmar Union so this whole process has been very difficult for us. Having said that, we just needed the notifications to stop. There were so. many. notifications. We've actually just formally closed our foreign affairs office to make it stop for a while."

The Thelmar Union was the federation's largest and most powerful member, and opposition parties in remaining states have warned the Bwauki vote has left the Just Alliance severely weakened.

As the Bwauki government prepares to initiate its 364th war declaration vote, which is now expected to pass as long as the Lyrian Polity remembers to open its foreign affairs office, critics have called upon the Galactic UN to overhaul federation mechanics and laws to prevent similar events from happening again.

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Javorian Pox: What is it and should we be worried?

Image: Public Institute of Space Direction Dr. Snugglesworth pictured earlier today giving a press briefing on Javorian Pox.

Image: Public Institute of Space Direction Dr. Snugglesworth pictured earlier today giving a press briefing on Javorian Pox.

The Public Institute of Space Health (PISH) has announced it is monitoring a small outbreak of Javorian Pox in the Thelmar Union region.

Public health officials state they have adopted a 'watch and wait' policy as they are hopeful spread of the disease will be limited.

What is Javorian Pox?

Javorian Pox is a highly transmissible infection caused by the bacterium Wingardium Leviosa.

Little information is known about it as it was only recently detected on Thelmar's homeworld of Khersonia. The first cluster of confirmed cases centered around the crew of of the TSS Rnaught, a Thelmar-sponsored science ship which had recently returned from a deep space expedition searching for the homeworld of the Irassian Concordat, a precursor civilisation.

While the exact origin of the Javorian Pox is unknown, rudimentary analysis suggests it is around four thousand years old. If confirmed this would make it the second oldest infectious disease in the galaxy after the now eradicated Lurgy virus.

What are the symptoms?

Pox symptoms come on rapidly and vary between species, although a number of common features across all organic populations have been noted.

  • Unexpected swelling
  • Ruptured nodules
  • Corrugated ankles
  • Discrete itching
  • Gastric ejections
  • Heaped piles
  • Kidney beans
  • Slack tongue
  • Gut rot

Individuals affected can expect to see global health attributes reduced significantly (including fertility and sex appeal).

Exact figures on mortality are not clear currently, but PISH has cautiously warned that infection may have "adverse effects" on organic lifespans.

Anyone aged over over 300, gestating/egg-laying or have the traits fleeting or weak are advised to contact their local healthcare provider immediately if they develop the above symptoms.

How does it spread?

Javorian Pox is spread through close contact, via bodily fluid or aerosol droplet. Due to this it is believed flagella-laden species like the Blorg are particularly potent 'super-spreaders' of infection.

Is it worse than other types of Pox?

The galaxy has a number of Pox types circulating at this time of year. While these are also caused by bacteria, outbreaks tend to be limited to pre-FTL feudal societies.

These forms of pox are often easily cured through basic treatments, including Electrolysis or Jelly Vat Immersion.

The main difference with Javorian Pox is at present, there is no known effective treatment.

How bad is the situation in the Thelmar Union?

The winter outbreak has been one of the worst the spacenation has seen in some years, with almost 5.6 billion confirmed infected and 542 million dead across 15 worlds.

Hospital admission data is currently unavailable following the collapse of civil law on Thelmar's core worlds.

Information from Thelmar's immediate neighbours, small protectorates, is also limited as they are in open revolt against Thelmar as they struggle to cope with millions of refugees.

So what should I do?

PISH have advised galactic organisms to "continue life as normal" although to avoid travelling to the remnants of Thelmar Union unless "absolutely necessary."

> More accurate reporting from Ashley Easterbrook could not be possible.

Species that doesn’t wear clothes forced to sit seperately during federation meeting

Image: A unclothed Bwauki (censored) stands to address fellow members of the Just Alliance.

Image: A unclothed Bwauki (censored) stands to address fellow members of the Just Alliance.

Redguard, Alcaire System, Thelmar Union

Diplomats from the Bwauk Multisystem met with the six other members of the Just Alliance today for the first time since joining the federation last month, in what political observers have described as a "stilted encounter." 

The conference, held on the Thelmar Union's homeworld of Redguard, was meant to discuss how the Multisystem would contribute funding towards a cross-empire federation fleet.

However, the meeting was postponed as it became apparent Bwaukis were not wearing any clothes.

Glukkonian Guild leader S'Lig told our newsteam;

"So we come along to this very important federation meeting, expecting some serious business to be attended to, and the Bwaukis had obviously arrived early since it was their first meeting with us. But when we entered the room we realised... they were naked. And not a bit of conveniently-placed-rag naked, but... completely unblurred naked. When we had originally invited them to the federation we had only seen photos, in which they're not wearing clothes from the waist up - we just assumed there would be something from the waist below. We were terribly wrong."

The Bwauki are an Avian species hailing from the tropical planet of Perspyre in the mineral-rich Celciheit System, an area of strategic importance for the Just Alliance. Their species have developed for millenia without clothes due to the high levels of planetside humidity.

Observers report the meeting initially tried to proceed as normal, but as one Baldaraki stood up to present a report on military taxation, fellow diplomats balked at the sight of his reproductive organs.

Thelmar security forces stepped in and ushered the Bwauki into an adjoining room where they could remain alone. The meeting was adjourned after appropriately fitting clothes were unable to be found.

S'Lig continued:

"It was just about as awkward as that time the Prime Minister of the Thelmar Union forgot who the Proscul were. Anyway, we need to find out some way to continue getting the Bwauki's mineral contribution, but without them attending federation meetings. Perhaps we should put our new federation fleet on annexation duty...."

The Bwauki Foreign Office has refused to comment on the incident. No further Just Alliance federation meetings have been scheduled for the remainder of this quarter.

> More accurate reporting from Ashley Easterbrook could not be possible

Area empire completely forgotten by former allies

Image: Petty King Mitker of the Proscul Dominion feels bad when negotiations with former federation members go south.

Image: Petty King Mitker of the Proscul Dominion feels bad when negotiations with former federation members go south.

Proscul Prime, Satz System, Proscul Dominion

Petty King Mitker, leader of the Proscul Dominion (formerly Kingdom), has expressed disappointment after trade discussions with former federation partners broke down yesterday.

The Prosculs, original founders of the now 6-empire strong Just Alliance, were forced to leave the federation last year when they were made a dominion of the neighbouring Vool Crusaders, a spiritual awakened empire.

Mitker had proposed the trade talks after discovering that the Just Alliance leadership were in the stellar neighbourhood for a research conference. However, it soon became apparent that any old friendships had dissolved in their time apart.

Mitker lamented to our newsteam;

“They just, like, completely forgot about us already. It seems like only yesterday we were the best of friends, ready to take on the world and subjugate our enemies. [sniffles into tissue] … I guess they’ve moved on with their lives now.”

According to diplomats who attended the talks, the discussions were productive yet cold and formal, as if the sides had never previously met and had no existing trust. One particularly embarrassing moment came when the Prime Minister of the Thelmar Union told Mitker, “It’s nice to meet such an agreeable new species.” Official records show this is the Prime Minister’s fourth visit to the Proscul Dominion.

The Just Alliance’s distant attitude toward the Proscul has caught many on Proscul Prime by surprise, given their species were the original founders of the federation and were heavily involved in liberating neighbouring empires to be incorporated into the federation.

Interestingly, some of those members who were liberated by the Prosculs, such as the Glukkonian Guild, now have a negative opinion towards their former ally, citing differing ethos and extensive border region overlap. Off the record, Glukkonian leader S-Lig told our newsteam;

“Just who are these upstart fanatic spiritualists? These religious nutcases have no place in the galactic community.”

> More accurate reporting from Seevah Gunnar could not be possible.

Icheon II braced for powerful Void Cloud Wrex storm

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Watch Live: Xenonion SpaceWeather EyeStream coverage of Void Cloud Wrex.

Watch Live: Xenonion SpaceWeather EyeStream coverage of Void Cloud Wrex.

Void Cloud Wrex is continuing to tear a deadly path through the Icheon system, and is now on track to strike Thelmar Union's newest colony, Icheon II.

The vulnerable planetary settlement is bracing for the arrival of what so far has been the galaxy's most deadly solitary Void Cloud in history, which has already left 15,000 dead after striking several space mining platforms close to the system core.

Feeding off ample electromagnetic energy from Icheon's neutron star, Wrex has strengthened to a Category 25 storm and is predicted to make planetfall on Icheon II this Tuesday morning.

Image: A closer view of Void Cloud Wrex

Image: A closer view of Void Cloud Wrex

The Space Weather Advisory Governance (SWAG) has warned Wrex will likely have an "apocalyptic" impact on the planet, with magnetic pulse surges destroying all electronics, and deadly cloud lightning storms penetrating the atmosphere.

Late on Sunday night Thelmar officials issued a mandatory evacuation order for Icheon II's 3.3 million colonists, however efforts have been hampered as the fanatic egalitarian species strictly forbids resettlement. The government has tried to circumvent this by hastily constructing visitor centres on neighbouring planets to increase migration attraction for Icheon II's residents, however some fear these efforts have come too late.

Another Void Cloud, Wreav has formed behind Wrex and is following a similar path, hampering relief efforts in some of the worst affected areas. SWAG has warned that if Wrex's movement slows, the Void Clouds may pair and become even more dangerous.

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