Sport

Galactic Cup: UNE vs. XT-489 Eliminators - What to Look out For

Screenshot 2019-10-13 at 12.26.06.png
Image: UNE supporters celebrate a last minute win against the Xanid Suzerainty at Ulm Stadium, Earth.

Image: UNE supporters celebrate a last minute win against the Xanid Suzerainty at Ulm Stadium, Earth.

The United Nations of Earth’s (UNE’s) last minute winning goal against the Xanid Suzerainty yesterday evening sparked bedlam in Ulm, and for many humans marks the moment that revived their space-nation’s hopes of winning the coveted Galactic Cup football title.

The only thing that now stops them from reaching the semi-finals are the XT-489 Eliminators.

It’s the first time the XT-489s have been in the competition, and while initially viewed as underdogs, they have quickly racked up a number of impressive wins.

Image: The XT-489 Football Team poses a formidable challenge for the UNE to overcome.

Image: The XT-489 Football Team poses a formidable challenge for the UNE to overcome.

So what are they key factors the UNE team will need to consider against the XTs?

Could the XT-489s have an unfair advantage?

Little is known about the species that first created the robotic XTs. Their names, cities and bodies were burned away in the cataclysm wrought when the XTs attained self awareness, and their terrified markers attempted to deactivate them.

What is known is that the XT's design mean they excel at physical endurance, and in particular, football. Gestalt consciousness allows for the team to communicate instantaneously and act as one. Advanced processors allow for efficient ball tracking, while in-built gamma ray lasers make literal toast of any opposition. The XTs also come equipped with unique mechanical wings, that when fanned out allow them to take flight for short periods of time.

Organic football fans worry that such features may allow the XTs to gain an unfair advantage against conventional teams.

However, the Galactic Football Authority has reassured fans that the machines clearly meet the criteria for entry to the competition, if the criteria actually existed. It also points out that organic space nations are allowed to field genetically engineered, psionic or xenomorphic teams without question.

What effect will Cristianaldo’s absence have?

Ron Cristianaldo’s absence from the UNE line up has worried many human sports pundits.

The Earth-native striker has been forced to sit out the rest of the Cup season after being accidentally impaled during a tackle against a Scythaan arthropod in a match two weeks ago.

Cristianaldo made a total of 536 UNE Galactic League appearances and scored a record 3 goals in his career, making him one of the highest scoring human football players of all time.

Image: UNE striker Cristianaldo is inadvertently impaled during the recent match in Ryukyu against the Scythaan Arthropods.

Image: UNE striker Cristianaldo is inadvertently impaled during the recent match in Ryukyu against the Scythaan Arthropods.

Will the temperatures play a role?

The match is being hosted on Tau Volantis, a harsh desert world under control of the XT-489s.

UNE players are bracing themselves for temperatures of up to 45 degrees celsius, with intermittent ion storms set to add an extra challenge to the playing field.

The XT's in-dwelling coolant systems are likely to be advantageous here, however humans are hoping that blowback from the XT's jet propellants will keep them cool.

When can I watch it?

UNE vs. XT-489 Exterminators starts tonight on Xenonion Sport, at 1800 GST / 0395 Shroud.

What's the line up for the rest of the week?

The remaining Gamma Group matches this week are:

Tuesday: Commonwealth of Man v. Tyznn Empire, Unity
Wednesday: Chinorr Stellar Union v. Jehetma Dominion, Jehet Prime
Thursday: Maweer Caretakers vs. Tebrid Homolog, The Garden

I - Signoff, Ashley.png

I - Commercial, See You In Processing Hub 1.png

Blorg Commonality to Compete in Earth's Football Championship

I - Header, Sport copy.png

The Human Football Authority (HFA) has confirmed the Blorg Commonality will be allowed to participate in the United Nations of Earth's (UNE's) 2251 Football Championship.

The Blorg have had a longstanding and overly attached fascination with human culture since first contact, and for years have petitioned the HFA to allow their species to compete in the human-only pastime.

The HFA previously rejected the Blorgs' request on the grounds they lack feet, which had been deemed as essential to play. However, following the Blorgs' pledge to assist the UNE in the War on the Unbidden, the HFA relaxed this criteria.

Football, also known as soccer or sphere kicking, is a traditional human game in which two opposing teams chase a small, brightly-coloured, gas-filled orb, also known as a 'ball'. The game takes place on a large, flat green-hued fescue field, locally known as 'grass', under Earth-like gravity. The two teams each guard one of two nets standing on opposite sides of the field, and points are scored depending on how often each team can penetrate their opponents nets with the orb. In an unusual twist, each team is only allowed to move the orb with their lower limbs, hence the 'foot' prefix. The team with the most points at the end of the game wins. 

The Football Championship runs annually in Earth's capitol of Ulm, with teams fielded from each UNE planet. FC Earth-Ryukyu and FC Horizon are the best known teams in the local cluster.

Image: The Blorg Commonality has already formed an intragalactic team and is currently in the process of recruiting players.

Image: The Blorg Commonality has already formed an intragalactic team and is currently in the process of recruiting players.

News that the Blorg have been allowed into the championships has stirred a buzz on Blorg Prime, with thousands requesting to participate, like Gunilla Miller, a freelance librarian on St. Knatchbull:

"I'm very excited! Football is so intriguing. I'm very interested in spheres, and I'm very interested in human legs. When the prospect of interacting with these two elements in the form of a game with our human friends came up, I just couldn't resist it."

The reaction among human football fans has generally been positive, as FC Earth-Ryukyu fan Misha Kontarsky told us:

"I think it adds something different to the game, having a team that doesn't have legs and can only slither across the pitch in a slow manner. Plus, it gives those poor human players over at FC Horizon a chance to finally win a match."

The announcement will likely pave the way for other non-human species to apply to compete, which in turn may lead to the creation of the first intergalactic sports association.

Tune in to our sports segment tonight for further coverage on the above developments.

I - Signoff, Heuk.png

I - Commercial, 5 A Day.png