Founded in 2200 following a questionable merger between several trans-stellar broadcasting corporations, Xenonion News has emerged as the galaxy's largest news provider.
Currently Xenonion is syndicated across 19 trillion systems, serving over 900 billion species. It is broadcast in 846 million languages, and is the first organization to stream programs in binary code and arthopod clicking.
Xenonion primarily broadcasts from the ISS Xenonion deep space black site via a network of orbital mind control satellites. It also maintains news bureaus on every major planet, and is the only organization to own a roving news Titan-class starship - meaning the news team is never far from the action.
Ashley easterbrook (IPSER)
Award winning journalist, former president of the Blorg Commonality and runner up in season one of ‘Blorg’s Next Top Fungoid’, Ashley Easterbrook joined Xenonion in 2111 as chief political correspondent. Aged 160, Ashley’s sturdy flagella bring decades of experience and tasty tacos to the news team.
Xan’dolf Leexidanaca (schilling381)
Hailing from the desolate planet ‘Sands of the Prophet’, the Xenda'ar believe that they were placed there by a divine being that wished for them to succeed in all aspects of life. Xan’dolf exemplifies this in his pursuit of the facts in all matters. He has previously been charged with [redacted], but we don’t talk about that to allow him to maintain his journalistic integrity and premium Xenonion dental plan.
Erik Akselsen (Scrat9518)
Hailing from Scyldaron, Erik has held a passion for megascale engineering since he was a pup. As the technical lead for Xenonion, Erik manages and maintains the orbital mind control laser arrays that are critical to the smooth dissemination of truth throughout the galaxy, and hundreds of planetary computers that provide high-speed Shroud connections to all clusters of the galaxy.
Like most Hystroconians, Heuknaize is driven by a deep fascination of all living beings and a wish to learn about them. Through his journalism he hopes to pass this interest on to other species across the galaxy. At times, he might even "spice up" some of the facts to spark more interest among the readers.
Seevah Gunnar (LANDARIN)
Since he was but a sprout on his home system of Vega, Mr. Gunnar has always been amazed by alien cultures and enjoyed travelling to other planets. As a result, he works as one of Xenonion's photographers, journeying far and wide to document current galactic events through the lens of his prized Cannon optical recorder. He often refers to his granddad, the legendary musician Joal Fleenstoan, as his greatest inspiration.
Spagruum Yu’ll (WYNWARD)
Spagruum began his life in rich, fertile soil on the relatively-unknown gaia world Green Thumb. He was forced off his planet as a refugee after the poor growing season now known to the species as the Late Frost of 2090. After working for much of his career as a freelance journalist, he joined the Xenonion team after collaborating with them on a number of stories. Spagruum is fascinated by the study of xenoism. He enjoys watching hockey, travelling, intragalactic politics and indirect sunlight
Karvus comes from a corporate background, having previously worked for TeleShroud - the galaxy’s largest (and most reliable) telecommunications company. When he’s not trying to sell you psionic-enabled portable fax machines, he spends his time writing in-depth business articles, and conducting probing interviews.
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Xenonion is a sci-fi news parody publication primarily based on the Paradox game Stellaris. We are not affiliated with Paradox and do not represent their views.
All content, including references to real people, entities or places is fiction - basically, actual fake news.
We are not for profit. All images and media are under creative commons attribution unless otherwise stated. No copyright infringement intended.