Colonist (18+)

Job
Written By Ashley Easterbrook
JOB DETAILS

Title: Colonist (aged 18+)

Reference: XCJ-S5-UNC4464

Salary: 0.02 EC per annum

Contract: Permanent

Location: TBA

Employer: United Nations of Earth (UNE) Department for Offworld Affairs

JOB DESCRIPTION

The United Nations of Earth’s (UNE’s) Department for Offworld Affairs is excited to offer this fantastic opportunity to become a Colonist.

UNE Colonists are responsible for settling new worlds, building the foundations for humanity’s expansion into the stars.

Responsibilities include:

  • Self-assembling a new shelter from your colony ship

  • Gathering basic resources and producing amenities

  • Producing new pops with your fellow colonists ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

JOB REQUIREMENTS

  • Human species

  • Adult 18+

  • A willingness to try new things ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  • Experience with self-assembly, IKEA training helpful

  • A healthy suspicion of local primitives, subterranean dwellers, hallucinogenic gas, toxic kelp and wandering forests

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Ashley Easterbrook

Name: Ashley Easterbrook

AKA: /u/ipser

Species: Blorg

Award winning journalist, former president of the Blorg Commonality and runner up in ‘Blorg’s Next Top Fungoid’, Ashley Easterbrook joined the Comet News Network in 2111 as chief political correspondent. Aged 160, Ashley’s sturdy flagella bring decades of experience and tasty tacos to the news team.

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