The Fellnoll Restorers have announced they are “seriously reconsidering” their dramatic return to the galactic stage.
The fanatically xenophobic fallen empire surprised the galactic community last month when it awoke unexpectedly and adopted a doctrine of jingoistic reclamation, immediately annexing neighbouring unclaimed terrority and three smaller space nations.
As the Galactic UN Security Council debated emergency countermeasures this week, the Fellnoll suddenly halted all expansion and began to abandon newly conquered territory.
“We awakened in response to our neighbours becoming more powerful,” Fellnoll leader Rem'Zz told Xenonion. “However, as we have begun to conquer and subjugate, we remembered why we became a Fallen Empire in the first place… we just can’t be bothered.
Fellnoll pointed to the effort it took to maintain a powerful fleet, all while expanding borders, maintaining influence and keeping civil unrest to a minimum. He stated: “Honestly… it’s making being stagnant look quite appealing right now.”
Image: Fellnoll leader Rem'Zz, between heavy bouts of yawning.
The broadcast was cut short as Rem'Zz demanded a three-day break to "just lie down."
The Fellnoll are a large, ancient and powerful empire. Details on their origins are limited, but galactic historians estimate they have existed for 1,000 years, reaching the peak of their power around 500 years ago. Following this, for reasons unknown although possibly owing to over-extension, their empire collapsed until only their core systems were left. Since then they have been highly isolationist and passive in their interactions towards others.
Neighbouring empires, and indeed Fallen Empires have reported relief at the Fellnoll’s announcement.
Lethorgy, leader of the Zantarim Holy Watchers Fallen Empire, told Xenonion News: “Praise be. If they remained awoken for another few weeks, chances were we would have to do the same and start the War in Heaven. We’re still sleeping off the last 600 years of decadence and enjoying the warm, cosy fug of staying in our home system, closing off all the borders, and having a nice long slumber.”
Image: Lethorgy, leader of the Zantarim Holy Watchers.
The galactic stock market has jittered on the Fellnoll announcement.
