Area Fungoid Works Surprisingly Well On Toast

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Following a serendipitous mix-up of condiments with the flagella of a Blorg research aide, scientists have confirmed this Sunday that the fungoid species is not only edible, but could also form a key part of a balanced breakfast.

The discovery was made by human xenobiologist Dr. Oetker while in his research lab’s canteen early this morning.

“I was hungry and in a rush to get down to the lab,” he explained to Xenonion, “so one of my Blorg assistants handed me a piece of toast. It was all too late when I realised I’d chomped down not only on the toast, but also on my colleague.”

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Dr. Oetker reported that the shock of accidentally consuming one of his own staff quickly wore off after he was enchanted by rich and textured taste of the panicking aide.

Further analysis was undertaken when what remained of the Blorg was offered out to the wider canteen. It was then uncovered that the nutritionally-dense species was particularly amenable to being melted down into an easily spreadable fungoid butter.

Xenonion was able to secure an exclusive interview with a serving of the Blorg, however it declined to comment, instead opting to remain silent as it slowly melted into a mouth-watering slice of freshly baked sourdough bread.

Representatives from the pan-galactic food conglomerate OmniFarm have expressed an interest in securing rights to the product, with a spokes-xeno telling Xenonion: “Soylent Blorg may just be the best thing since Grey Goo coffee!”

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Ashley Easterbrook

Name: Ashley Easterbrook

AKA: /u/ipser

Species: Blorg

Award winning journalist, former president of the Blorg Commonality and runner up in ‘Blorg’s Next Top Fungoid’, Ashley Easterbrook joined the Comet News Network in 2111 as chief political correspondent. Aged 160, Ashley’s sturdy flagella bring decades of experience and tasty tacos to the news team.

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