The Gorothi Swarm announced today that it is permanently switching to a vegan diet, citing the “irrefutable” health benefits of only consuming sapient plantoids.
Posting to social media, the 300-year old Hive Mind stated its drones have “never looked or felt better” since it stopped consuming other species last month.
“We were so used to tearing apart anything that screamed,” the Hive Mind told Xenonion, “that we never stopped to think about what the impact of devouring yet another fully conscious mammalian whole could have on our health.”
The Hive Mind went on to describe how inspiration came whilst flaying reptilians from a local science directorate: “Those lizards saw just how many drones were dropping from heart attacks, and told us something needed to change. It was only after we’d compressed them into a calorie-dense triple-burger that we realised they were right.”
Image: Semi-autonomous Gorothi drone Raxor The Flayer recently appeared on Good Morning Space speaking about the merits of veganism.
The Hive Mind stated it had researched a number of nutritional plans, but was swayed by recent studies from the Public Institute for Space Health (PISH) confirming that a plantoid-heavy diet was associated with longer life expectancy and reduced cardiovascular morbidity.
“We can’t say we miss our old diet,” the Hive Mind continued. “The plantoids we consume are still fully aware they’re being devoured, so eating is as fun as ever. Also, with some, the texture is indistinguishable from the satisfying crunch of breaking through a still-squirming molluscoid shell.”
Neighbouring non-plantoid species have expressed their disappointment at the Gorothi announcement. Mammalian Ro-Va Tek told Xenonion: “I never thought I’d say this, but I actually kinda wish they went back to trying to eat us. Their new ‘holier than thou’ attitude about food is unbearable.”
The Hive Mind remains optimistic it will stick closely to its new diet, although joked if a xeno sanctuary was uncovered it would “have to strongly consider the possibility of a cheat day.”
