Enough About Xeno Rights, What About Xeno Wrongs?

It seems endlessly fashionable these days to band about the term ‘xeno rights’ without a second thought. Except, xenos are rarely ever right. In fact, they are wrong more times than not. And yet we never discuss ‘xeno wrongs.’

I only have to look through the cracks of my apartment’s boarded-up window to see the cesspool that my now multi-species homeworld has become. Xenos as far as my eyes can see.

The wrongs start with their anatomy. Bizarre and unnatural dual upper body limbs. Vile mouths that produce even viler unintelligible noises. And the legs! It’s still hard to adjust to seeing these two-legged abominations strutting around the neighborhood.

The wrongs continue with their behavior. I remember the first (and last) time I answered my now triple-locked front door to one of those fleshy doe-eyed obscenities. They had come over to ‘visit’ after moving in down the hall, stating they were friendly and keen to sign a tenant non-aggression pack. I’ll never forget how it bared its teeth and curled the corners of its disgusting mouth upwards, clearly signalling a readiness to rip my throat out. To think I would sign any sort of agreement with that feral beast.

Things only got worse. My native neighbors and I lived in a perpetual state of fear. The vertebrate had brought some sort of fellow two-legged mate with it. It looked similar, but not quite. They could have been from the same alien world, but it equally could have been another xeno-compatibility experiment gone horrifically wrong.

Do you know what happens when these two-legged nightmares procreate with each other? Aside from clearly violating every known law of nature, they make violent and disturbing noises. I could only press my ear my apartment’s thin adjoining wall for so long however, as within months their howls were superseded by an orchestra of shrieking and screaming. The creature was clearly female and had birthed a brood. They were multiplying.

Dear readers, I urge you to learn the lessons of my planet. When the activists were chanting for open borders we didn’t think it would be too bad. When they marched for ‘xeno rights’ we thought we could manage. When the aliens showed up in my neighborhood, I thought I could shut myself away. It is only now, after they have infested my home and the rot has truly set in, that I realize I should have purchased a flamethrower sooner.

Heed our warning. The once glorious Commonwealth of Man will never recover from the mistake of letting in the vile xenos from the United Nations of Earth. There is no such thing as xeno rights - only xeno wrongs.