The Scyldari Confederacy has roundly rejected the Museum of Exobiology’s request for procurement of live alien specimens, with officials stating the endeavor would “cost the entire GDP of our space-nation, several times over.”
The Museum’s Director had petitioned the government to assist in capturing a number of exotic animals, including the Illusive Tarblac, Wily Uddloran and Insidious Sniran, for the inauguration of a new Xeno Zoo.
Scyldaria’s Chief Sociologist, Dr Ricmort Jeribeth, spoke to Xenonion about the request: “When we say we don’t have the resources to spare, we mean it. Have you looked at this map the Museum provided us? Half the species are literally on the opposite side of the galaxy.”
Pointing at a number of coordinates on the map, he continued: “The Malleable Goolantha must be pretty malleable, since it’s deep in the Unbidden dead zone. Oh, and the Vile Orinthi? Comfortably nestled between the closed borders of a Devouring Swarm and Inward Perfectionists. The Museum literally wants us to go to war and shed billions of lives to obtain a single Vile Orinthi. The little rat species that breeds uncontrollably and has a fondness for chewing on electrical cables. A scientific priority if I’ve ever heard one.”
Image: Dr Jeribeth pens a diplomatic response to the Museum of Exobiology.
A spokesxeno for the Museum conceded that the request was challenging, but added the institution hoped a “hefty reward” of 500 energy credits and 65 influence would “incentivize” the Scyldari government.
Dr Jeribeth continued: “Wow. Great. That will definitely cover the cost of six dead scientists and three hundred scuttled battleships required just to obtain the Vile Orinthi alone.”
Motioning towards a nearby bin, he added: “I’ll put it straight on our urgent to-do list, right behind dealing with the three hundred year old cultist threat, and the Existentialism Association’s request for us to find the meaning of life in exchange for a sense of pride and accomplishment.”
