Lokken admirals confirmed this Thursday that they are struggling to utilize a battleship fitted with sentient combat AI, describing it as “childish” and “moody.”
The 40-million tonne ISS Zulken was one of the first Lokken vessels to be equipped with the advanced technology fifteen years ago, however officials have become alarmed by the ship’s increasingly temperamental behaviour.
Admiral Moz explained to Xenonion: “Whether it’s refusing to undock from the shipyard first thing in the morning, or making derogatory comments at passing ships with smaller hulls, dealing with the Zulken’s stream of petulant behaviour is exhausting.”
Image: Admiral Moz watches on as the Zulken demands another five more minutes remaining docked, despite already being thirty minutes late for patrol.
Admirals have attempted to open dialogue with the Zulken to understand its behaviour, but have been repeatedly rebuffed with a torrent of exasperated beeps and sad-face emojis.
However, officials have been offered a glimmer of insight through the Zulken’s publicly available social media accounts. Moz stated: “Zulken consistently tweets about how annoying we are and how all she ever wants is five minutes to herself, so perhaps we’re being too overbearing.”
AI developmental psychologist Dr. Xirax explained to Xenonion that the behaviours displayed were not uncommon in growing sentient AI: “There are a lot of changes taking place within its programming code which can cause emotional volatility, risk-taking behaviour and self-consciousness.”
When asked how to overcome such difficulties, Dr. Xirax continued: “It’s important to remember that this ship isn’t choosing to be moody. It may be frustrated, confused or even scared. It’s looking for an admiral to provide stability, even if it’s acting out in unhelpful ways like switching off life support systems mid-flight.”
Lokken admirals report they are taking Dr. Xirax’s recommendations seriously, with Moz concluding: “We need to get on top of this now. It’s only a matter of time before the Zulken starts taking an interest in other battleships and little baby strike craft start spilling out of every hull crevice.”
