A recent study has confirmed that atmospheric hallucinogens found on the newly colonized planet of Trippa are “super rad” and “totally chillaxing.”
The planet, settled by the Sutherian Empire last month, was investigated by scientists after a number of colonists began to display erratic behaviours, including increased productivity and appearing enthused while at work.
The researchers, whose findings were published in the paper ‘Gas X: A Novel Atmospheric Hallucinogen Th – Dude Did You Just See That Huge Spider-Cat Thing!?’, concluded that the air on Trippa has naturally occurring psychedelic properties which can cause mood dysregulation and perceptual abnormalities.
Image: The study was published this week in the prestigious Reddit Journal of Science.
Dr Indibaran, one of the paper’s lead authors who extensively sampled the atmosphere, compared its effects to that of stimulant medication. Speaking at a scientific conference on Trippa earlier today, he described the gas as "delicious, just like flesh” before yelling incoherently: “ALL ABOARD THE SPIDER-CAT BUS!”
Officials within the Sutherian government have expressed concern at the potential risks of long term exposure to the substance, however Dr Indibaran has challenged this. Speaking to Xenonion earlier today via video-link, he stated while repeatedly licking his lips: “Everyone would be so chill if they just tried some Trippa air.” He added that his team had noted some adverse effects like hypersalivation, nights terrors and cardiac arrest, however stated: “for reals, this shit is totally worth it.”
Local pops on Trippa seem to agree, with Sector Governor Bemalon telling Xenonion the air was “yeaahhhhhh [sic]”, before catching sight of himself in a mirror and then hysterically screaming that his face had gone missing.
Insider reports suggest that Sutherian officials remain opposed to leaving the gas in situ, and may move to filter the hallucinogen as soon as a viable method for extracting, shipping and selling it for profit becomes available.
