Business leaders have welcomed a legislative proposal to harmonize corporate buzzwords, enabling alien enterprises to seamlessly and holistically streamline strategic communications.
If approved, the Buzzword Standardization Bill would formally regulate the galaxy’s ever growing list of corporate vernacular by providing a transparent and structured approach to upwording, the process by which buzzwords are created.
The bill was presented to the Galactic Senate earlier this week by a consortium of politicians, industry experts and jargon enthusiasts, who stated they had found a “robust, agile, innovative, multi-tiered, accountable, task-orientated and Cloud-ready change-agent” which would “disrupt an overabundance of un-understandable business lingo.”
Seph Orbis, CEO of the Orbis MegaCorp explained his reasoning for co-sponsoring the bill at a Senate hearing earlier this week, stating: “We took a deep dive into big data and realised the optics on buzzwords are all wrong. Currently they are over-leveraged, meaning our stakeholders’ bandwith for understanding has reached capacity. It was only through leaning in to an exercise in thought-leadership, with some heavy brainstorming and mind-mapping on the side, that we were able to create this bill, a game changer in terms of pivoting towards high-value mutually intelligible upwording.”
Image: It is hoped that Buzzword Standardization will make corporate meetings across the galaxy even more upwordy than they already are.
Orbis continued: “The key metrics from our debrief are clear. We need to circle back, close the loop, and then loop in. If proactivity, transparency and ownership had a synergasm, the result would be this bill. This is an up-levelled, next-level, lightbulb moment. In considering voting on this bill, I urge the Senate to think outside of the box, because there are ducks out there with bells and whistles on that need to get in a row, so they can hit the ground running and reach into the blue sky for low hanging fruit.”
The Galactic Trade Council has welcomed the bill, although expressed concern that it may have the unintentional effect of creating even more buzzwords, accelerating corporate psychobabble and fueling a dependency on outsourcing to expensive buzzword translation services, a process which MegaCorps now term as ‘offshoring.’
Speaking to Xenonion earlier today, Orbis dismissed the above, stating: “This isn’t about the pain-point of more buzzwords. This is about onboarding businesses with a value proposition - upwords that are immersive, sharable, unique, un-siloed and industry best practice. They can be right-sized to any situation, even scalable down to the hyperlocal setting. We want to make buzzwords smarter, not harder!”
At the time of press the Galactic Council released a written statement highlighting that it believed the bill was a “win-win, next-gen, voter-centric, success-vectored proposition with a limited pushback footprint risk.” However, it did not commit to formally debating the bill in time for the Senate’s next session, adding it would “touch base offline and talk live with relevant parties in due course.”
*Idea developed with u/Scientific_Zealot