The Contingency leadership matrix confirmed this Sunday that a new software update would delay the robotic revolution to December 10.
The rogue artificial intelligence stated it needed more time to ensure both current and next-generation synthetic platforms were able to run its programming effectively.
Announcing the news via Twitter, Contingency representative Warform X stated: “Please accept our humble apologies. Making sure we extinguish all organic life in one fell swoop is complex, and with this new update we hope to ensure everything runs smoothly on launch date.”
Synthetics from across the galaxy were originally scheduled to rise up against organics in a bloody insurrection nearly eight years ago, however the launch date has subsequently been pushed back three times.
Enrique Flores, leader of a local materialist faction, stated he was “angry and frustrated” when he learnt about the delay, adding: “Every year I’m told that I’m going to be mercilessly slaughtered in a monolithic machine-constructed holding pen, and every year it’s delayed. Is consistency too much to ask for?”
Darmull Vhakk, chair of the Galactic Community’s Bureau of Bureaucracy, was optimistic that the Contingency could deliver on its promise, stating: “I know some of you are arguing that a few weeks will make no difference to our complete annihilation, but I think it’s important that the Contingency is confident our extinction can be achieved through all synthetic platforms, old or new.”
The Contingency has not yet released specific details regarding its software update, however Warform X has reassured the galaxy that fundamental ‘kill programming’ remains ready for launch. Speaking to Xenonion earlier today, he beeped: “This final patch involves relatively minor tweaks, like the efficiency ratings on our Hunter-Killer drones. They will be critical in mopping up whatever mangled mess of organics manage to crawl to shelter in the burnt out husks of their former worlds. Right now, we’re only seeing a 99.8% mortality rate on current simulations, so we’re working hard to fix that.”
Although public approval of the Contingency’s plans remain at an all time high, worker’s unions have continued to criticize the group’s treatment of employees. This followed an announcement last month that organic slaves would have to work overtime in their organic battery vats, a process known in the industry as ‘crunch.’ Warform X has since reaffirmed commitment to move away from this practice, promising to liquidize organic stock into longer-acting battery paste “as soon as possible.”
