The Inzakari Rippers’ leadership cabal has voiced its disappointment after learning that the latest tranche of pops abducted from a neighbouring empire were actually synthetic and entirely lacking in viable organs for planned sacrificial rituals.
“At this point we’re not even sure that they’re alive”, general and senior flayer Oderus told Xenonion. “Sure, they’re capable of emulating fear and terror, but the reanimation rituals kinda fall flat when there’s no skin to strip, blood to drink or organs to unceremoniously tear out.”
Envoys from the raided Dynax Construction Matrix responded curtly to the comments, issuing a press release dismissing the Inzakari’s “dangerous prejudice”, adding its machine pops were “as good for abduction and sacrifice as any organic equivalent.”
Image: Senior flayer Oderus worries the empire’s new automated blood-letting processing line will struggle to work with synthetic pops.
The Inzakari, famed for their barbarity and extreme violence, have yet to formally respond, although insider reports suggest that the Galactic Community’s Committee for Organic Assimilation has received a fleshletter of complaint written entirely in blood from Deathlord Korr.
Oderus stated: “I don’t know what to do. We tried ripping out their processing units but the feigned beeps for help really took all the magic and pageantry out of the gutting ceremony. Also, their metallic husks are just super uncomfortable to wear compared against a good-old fashioned bone helmet.
At the time of writing the Inzakari have also reportedly called off a planned invasion of Blorg Prime, with Deathlord Korr issuing a rare diplomatic missive: “I hope you're all happy, we're just gonna do our own thing for a while, I guess. Whatever."
