Automatic Research System Just Astute Octopus In Jar

NIPS
Written By Ashley Easterbrook

The Ubaric Techo-Union (UTU) have confirmed this Friday that their new ‘Automatic Research System’ is in fact just a very astute octopus in a jar, which when given a selection of screens with hypothetical technologies, shrewdly points with its tentacles as to which one the space-nation should pick to develop next. The UTU report the octopus’ success with sports fixtures has been “more variable”, however.

Ashley Easterbrook

Name: Ashley Easterbrook

AKA: /u/ipser

Species: Blorg

Award winning journalist, former president of the Blorg Commonality and runner up in ‘Blorg’s Next Top Fungoid’, Ashley Easterbrook joined the Comet News Network in 2111 as chief political correspondent. Aged 160, Ashley’s sturdy flagella bring decades of experience and tasty tacos to the news team.

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