Following yet another abrupt and unplanned change in diplomatic assignment, T’Valdra envoy Morak Pak has warned his superiors that if it were possible for him to quit his job, he would.

The overworked diplomat has been shunted across the galaxy thirty-eight times in his short career, and was overheard begging central government officials for, quote, “just one tiny morsel of goddamn continuity.”

Pak was reportedly close to finalizing complex negotiations which would have secured peace in the Outer Rim for generations, before being hastily redeployed to insult a foreign-looking species nearly 10,000 light years away.

“I’ve just had it with this,” a haggard-looking Pak told Xenonion while dragging on a cigarette. “One minute I’m negotiating a trade deal with the Blood Cartel and the next I’m suddenly expected to decipher an entire goddamn alien alphabet for a first contact as if I have any sort of formal training in xeno linguistics!”

“Do you know I don’t even get travel expenses for this sh*t?” Pak continued, producing pictures showing him moonlighting as an air steward aboard a colony ship to cover galactic transit costs.

Pak described how he felt “trapped” by his lifetime employment contract, stating his only options were to hope for an appointment to the Galactic Community with its generous 10 year recesses, or death.

“I miss my wife and three younglings dearly,” Pak added wistfully. “There’s surely some sort of notification system in place that they would know when I die, right?”

At the time of press, the T’Valdra government has requested all information held by Xenonion on Pak be destroyed, as it may jeopardize his new role as a spy within the Blood Cartel’s ranks.