Contamination Concern Prompts Sapient Species Meat Recall

The Public Institute of Space Health (PISH) has warned devouring swarms and xeno-eaters not to consume any Yondarim meat due to contamination concerns.

The announcement came hours after the Galactic Food Standards Agency (GFSA) confirmed that it had found classified 'pathogenic particles' in the meat, and ordered an urgent recall.

Yondarim meat is processed exclusively by the Zortax Hive, the galaxy's largest provider of sentient meat.

Image: A Zortax Hive supervisor oversees Yondarim meat production at one of their main processing facilities.

The delicacy is particularly popular among devouring swarms due to its taste and high levels of nutrition, however over the last 2 weeks the meat has been linked to upwards of 3.5 million cases of gut rot, 50% of which have culminated in death.

“There’s something very wrong with the Yondarim meat being produced by the Zortax Hive,” Chalgax Vippum, chief of the GFSA's inspection division, told Xenonion. “While I can't go into any more detail, particles have been found in the meat that are making consumers extremely ill. Our inquiry is ongoing but we know the Zortax have extremely strict food safety standards so we believe it is unlikely this issue has arisen from their production line."

The GFSA are believed to be following a lead that the meat may have been intentionally poisoned as a means to halt Yondarim processing.

Image: The Galactic Food Standards Authority have released an urgent food recall for all Yondarim meat best before May 2252.

“The idea of methodically being processed to be eaten by neighbouring empires has been psychologically quite difficult for our species to adapt to,” Glugub Bnorr, an official representative of the Kingdom of Yondarim told Xenonion: “But no, we're definitely not telling our citizens to dose themselves carefully with dark matter to allow it to accrue in muscle tissue and cause food poising to anybody that eats it. Why would you suggest that? Oh, wait... you didn't?"

The GFSA has launched a formal investigation into the Kingdom of Yondarim's role in the meat scandal, and has warned if the empire is complicit in making its own people unfit to be eaten it could face stiff charges from the Galactic Community's Supreme Court.

Vippum went on to state: "I know it’s not pleasant having your culture and society systemically wiped out, but that doesn't mean you can flaunt food safety regulations just because you don’t want to be eaten.”

The Zortax Hive states it is "at one" with the GFSA's investigation and is complying with orders to stop Yondarim meat production and recall all active shipments.

A joint statement by the GFSA and PISH has advised all xeno eaters to immediately stop cooking Yondarim products and return them to the point of purchase for a full refund.

Shares on the Space Exchange Index (SExI) for Zortax, and its largest corporate customer TacoBell, have fallen on the news.

---

Javorian Pox: What Is It and Should We Be Worried?

The Public Institute of Space Health (PISH) has announced it is monitoring a “minor” outbreak of Javorian Pox in the Thelmar Union region.

With the death toll now surpassing over 500 million, Public Health Officials have urged xenos to remain “vigilant” for the infection.

So how worried should we be? Here’s everything you need to know:

What is Javorian Pox?

Javorian Pox is a highly transmissible infection caused by the bacterium Wingardium Leviosa.

Little information is known about the pathogen, as it was only detected this month on Thelmar’s homeworld of Khersonia.

The first cluster of cases was identified about the TSS Rnaught, a Thelmar science ship which had recently returned from an expedition to the relic world of Irassia, former home of the precursor Irassian Concordat.

While the exact origin of the Pox is unknown, initial analyses suggest it is over four thousand years old, making it the second oldest infectious disease in the galaxy after Lurgy.

What are the symptoms?

Pox symptoms are rapid, unpredictable and highly variable between species, however a number of common features are noted across all organic populations:

• Unexpected swelling

• Ruptured nodules

• Corrugated ankles

• Discrete itching

• Gastric ejections

• Heaped piles

• Kidney beans

• Slack tongue

• Gut rot

Individuals affected can expect to see global health attributes reduced significantly, including fertility and sex appeal.

What’s the mortality?

Exact figures on mortality are not currently clear, although initial reports from Thelmar suggest there is a 1-2% percent chance of recovery with early hospitalization.

PISH has been cautious to warn that infection may have “adverse effects” on organic physiology.

Who’s at risk?

At risk demographics are believed to be similar for other illnesses, such as Lurgy and Saturday Night Fever. These include xenos who are:

• Aged >300

• Gestating / egg-laying

• Predisposed with fleeting or weak traits

PISH has recommended any xenos falling into the above categories should contact their local healthcare provider at their nearest convenience.

Image: Public Institute of Space Health Director Dr. Snugglesworth, pictured earlier today droning on and on about boring science stuff.

How does it spread?

Javorian Pox is spread through close contact, likely bodily fluid or aerosol droplet.

It appears to be highly transmissible, as xenos affected can shed the pathogen while remaining asymptomatic for up to three weeks.

Due to this, lubricated species such as the flagella-laden Blorg are suspected to be high-risk for ‘super-spreading’ the disease.

Is it worse than other types of Pox?

The galaxy has a number of Pox-types circulating at this time of year, consisting of both viruses and bacteria.

However, it is unusual for Pox to spread in developed space, as outbreaks tend to be limited to pre-FTL feudal societies.

How is it treated?

Existing forms of Pox are often easily cured through basic treatments, such as not going outside and Jelly Vat Electrolysis.

At present there is no known effective treatment for Javorian Pox.

Image: A xeno suspected of having Javorian Pox receives urgent treatment at Thelmar’s St. Frontier Hospital.

How bad is the situation in the Thelmar Union?

This winter outbreak has been one of the worst the space-nation has seen in some years, with almost 5.6 billion confirmed infected and 503 million dead across 15 worlds.

Hospital admission data is currently unavailable, as they have stopped responding to information requests following the complete collapse of civil law on Thelmar core worlds.

Similarly, information from Thelmar’s immediate neighbours, a number of small protectorates, is also limited. This in part appears driven by the current independence wars underway, as they desperately try to close their borders to the floods of refugees streaming out of Thelmar.

So what should I do?

At present PISH is recommending galactic organisms “continue life as normal.”

It is advising a number of space-nations to adopt ‘watch and wait’ policies, cautioning against “over-reaction.”

At present travel advice to the Thelmar Union remains unchanged, with no restrictions and a simple ‘be aware’ warning for travelers.

---

Synthetic Zro Misuse Reaching 'Epidemic' Levels

Hyperion, Hyperion System, Ubaric TechnoUnion

The Public Institute for Space Health (PISH) issued a stark warning that the galaxy is "fighting a losing battle" against Zro dust addiction, after it emerged synthetics are beginning to turn to an even more potent modified version of the drug, 'mZro'.

Image: A synth on Hyperion intoxicated with modified Zro (mZro), actively trying to communicate with a digital hallucination.

Misuse of the highly addictive aerosol has skyrocketed over the last decade, with almost 6% of the galactic organic population believed to have some form of dependence.

Discovered by chance on the tropical planet Ket in 2210, Zro dust was found to be a highly potent psionic stimulant with strong analgesic properties. It was refined and marketed as a prescription performance enhancer by numerous pharamaceutical companies, but in 2211 was withdrawn from market after it was found to be highly addictive and fatal in overdose. It was subsequently outlawed and declared illegal by numerous spacenations in 2212. This did little to stop its spread however, and sales flourished in underground black marketplaces like the notorious 'Paradox Plaza' and 'Steam Workshop'.

In its prescription years Zro misuse had been exclusively limited to organics, however as it was traded on the black market it was adapted to interface with mechanical augments of cyborg enhanced organics to provide an even more vivid 'electric high'. An unintentional side effect of this adaptation was that the newer version of Zro also affected robots, resulting in a dramatic upsurge of use in synthetics of all classes, ranging from drone workers to primitive AIs. Initial analysis shows modified 'mZro' to be almost fifty times more potent - meaning the chances of addiction and permanent damage are much higher in synthetics.

Hyperion, homeworld of the galaxy's largest producer of synthetics CybrexCorp, has been hit particularly hard, with almost 300 new cases of synthetic mZro overdose being recorded daily. Affected synthetics have been observed to refuse to work in their designated tiles, instead lying on streets actively intoxicated, or peddling for credits to allow further purchase of mZro.

Synthetic use of mZro has prompted concern from pro-organics, who have questioned how synthetics can act outwith their operating protocols. CEO of Nax Golsrig tried to explain: 

"Our synthetics are very early in their 'lives'. Like teenagers of all species, they are trying out new things. Rebelling. Well, ok, no, not rebelling, that's maybe the wrong word to use. Molloscoid teenagers eat their peers, human teenagers drink disgusting fermented rotting fruit drinks, and synthetics dabble in mZro. Our robots have a great capacity to learn, and this is how they're choosing to exercise that."

Both Golsrig and PISH have refused to be drawn into debate onto whether afflicted synthetics should be disassembled.

PISH has declared Zro a "public health emergency" and has requested extra funding from the Galactic UN.

> More accurate reporting from Erik Akselsen & Ashley Easterbrook could not be possible.