Strategic Coordination Center Repurposed To Host Massive Universe Universalis LAN Party
NEWS | UNITED NATIONS OF EARTH (UNE) | 02.08.2259
What was once the nerve center of the United Nation of Earth’s (UNE’s) sprawling military-industrial complex is now home to something even more ambitious: a 300,000-player LAN party for Universe Universalis enthusiasts.
Human officials confirmed this week that the Strategic Coordination Center, a colossal megastructure originally designed to coordinate UNE fleet deployments, has been fully repurposed into the “galaxy’s largest dedicated gaming venue.”
The transformation includes giant tactical screens re-utilized to project game maps, military-grade computers redirected to enhance in-game AI behaviour and a team of 50,000 cybersecurity analysts reassigned to fix desync bugs.
“We realized we haven’t used the Strategic Coordination Center for actual military planning in about 30 years,” UNE rear-admiral Brian Murchad told Xenonion. “Once we’d established dominance over our cluster, there wasn’t much left to strategically coordinate. But we realized we still really like painting maps different colors.”
The Strategic Coordination Center is now drawing players from across the galaxy with the launch of a massive LAN campaign of Universe Universalis, the wildly popular grand strategy simulation by human publisher Parabox Interactive.
“We figured the Strategic Coordination Center would become the Grand Strategic Game Coordination Center,” Murchad continued. “Also, the DEFCON-1 command room just feels so perfect for micromanaging internal politics in 16th-century Burgundy.”
Critics have warned that the Strategic Coordination Center was not designed to handle such intense high-volume computer activity. Organizers state they are confident infrastructure can handle demand, and contingency plans are in place to tow the megastructure to be plugged into a nearby Dyson Sphere or Synaptic Lathe.
Others have raised concerns about potential security risks after a Blorg player accidentally launched a real UNE fleet during a co-op match, resulting in apocalyptic orbital bombardment of France. Officials from the DEFCON-1 command room have applauded the move on behalf of Burgundy.
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