Frustration As Apocalypse Date Pushed Back Yet Again
NEWS | FERELLIAN MANDATE | 11.10.2259
The Ferellian Mandate has confirmed that the scheduled apocalypse has once again been pushed back to 2260, after three colony worlds were sacrificed to appease the End of the Cycle.
Self-described ‘Endbringers,’ the Ferellians have long promised to destroy this plane of reality by assisting malevolent forces from the Shroud, however the project has stalled multiple times due to budgetary constraints and logistical challenges.
“I was ready to be torn asunder by eldritch entities from beyond the veil,” Zorak Pak, a frustrated Ferellian citizen told Xenonion. “Instead I get to commute into the office tomorrow. To have a meeting with Linda. Linda.”
Speaking before the Galactic Community’s Subcommittee on Existential Affairs, Ferellian representatives apologized for the delay, stating “additional preparations are needed to ensure every system is ready to welcome the Reckoning in the most dramatic and violent way possible. Also, our trade deficit this year was much larger than we anticipated.”
Neighboring space-nations have expressed increasing frustration regarding the shifting date of the reckoning.
“It feels like every other day there’s a warning about the end of the galaxy,” an envoy from the Voor Technocracy told Xenonion. “I’m not surprised the Ferellians are struggling. Everyone with non-Zro addled brain knows the Shroud isn’t real anyway.”
Meanwhile, other apocalyptic sects have offered to help the Ferellians. The Chosen have pledged to cleanse the Outer Rim of all life by 2280, while the Pasharti Absorbers are optimistic their aetherophasic engine network should be online by 2290.
The Subcommittee has since requested the Ferellians submit a revised apocalypse timetable by next quarter, and has warned any further delays could result in a fine levied for every day of wretched continued existence.
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