Instrument of Desire Demands Petitioners Stop Playing It
NEWS | THE SHROUD | 22.09.2259
Issuing a rare broadcast across the Shroud, the Instrument of Desire has demanded psionic petitioners cease attempting to play it.
The message, delivered as a deafening, hallucinatory crash to spiritualists across the cluster, also expressly forbade tapping, percussion and use of gong mallets.
“I SAID ATTUNE,” the mystical being harmonized discordantly, “NOT THAT I NEEDED TUNING.”
The Instrument added that anyone attempting physical contact risked banishment to its sister deity, The Recomposer of DNA Strands.
Patrons of the Church of Desire have been quick to place signage at shrines reading “DO NOT TOUCH,” and have pre-emptively added others stating, “NO REQUESTS — ESPECIALLY NOT WONDERWALL.”
PsiTunes, the galaxy’s largest music provider, has pulled any recordings made using the Instrument of Desire, including the popular “Lo-Fi Shroud Beats To Yearn To” playlist, citing “unlicensed resonance.”
Despite the rebuke, the Instrument reiterated it will continue to grant boons to those who can “attune respectfully,” and stated it is looking forward to releasing new longings as an independent patron.
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