Admiral Asks If L-Gate Available In Next Size Up

NEWS | EARTH, UNE | 31.08.2260

Report by Ashley Easterbrook | ⏱︎ 5 minute read

A United Nations of Earth (UNE) admiral has asked researchers whether the cluster’s L-Gates are available in the next size up after finding the current model “a little restrictive.”

The admiral, whose fleet has swollen in size in recent months, said movement through the gate was “feeling a little snug” compared to previous journeys.  

UNE Fleet Command confirmed that on recent transit several ships were right up to the limit of the gate’s aperture, which measures 34 miles (US 34, EU 54).

Officials reported the situation was particularly noticeable around battleships, which have become challenging to tuck in.

“The ‘L’ looked fine on the sizing chart,” Admiral Voss told Xenonion, “but after trying it out I think we’re probably at the point of needing an XL- or XXL-gate.”

In the meantime UNE officials have confirmed they would look at trying to slim down fleet size from next month, right after workplace stresses settle and a planned holiday period.

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Ashley Easterbrook

Name: Ashley Easterbrook

AKA: /u/ipser

Species: Blorg

Award winning journalist, former president of the Blorg Commonality and runner up in ‘Blorg’s Next Top Fungoid’, Ashley Easterbrook joined the Comet News Network in 2111 as chief political correspondent. Aged 160, Ashley’s sturdy flagella bring decades of experience and tasty tacos to the news team.

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