‘YASS QUEEN!’ – Prethoryn Beauty Delights With Glamorous Snaps

The Prethoryn Queen delighted fans on Saturday night after sharing some stunning new snaps.

The extra-dimensional bombshell, age unknown, channeled old-school glamour as she modeled inside her beautiful neural cavern adorned with pulsating flesh walls.

The candid photos showed her perfectly manicured tendrils cascading down from her toned central trunk, while a subtle dash of eyeliner gave her gorgeous giant eye some next-level pop.

Wearing her tightly fitting exo-shell, designer unknown, the Queen oozed both class and the viscous natural lubricant she requires to extract oxygen when planet-side.

After the snaps were posted to Instagram, several of the Queen’s followers gushed over the star in the comments. One penned “you look STUNNING” while others added “ICONIC” and “YASS QUEEN!”

The pictures are likely timed to coincide with next week’s launch of the Queen’s autobiography, HAK! HAK! HAK!

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Heavy Metal Band 'Megadeath' Horrified After Billions Die During Charity Concert

Communications are in disarray today on what remains of Rutheria after the necroid band Megacorpse obliterated the planet’s moon during an orbital performance, killing billions.

The popular psi-metal band were playing for a much anticipated charity event aboard their re-purposed performance Colossus to raise awareness for feline sleep apnea.

It was during this event that Kel-Azaan, lead vocalist and chief deathbringer, reportedly punched a hole into the surface of the moon during a 55-minute guitar solo for the song ‘Extinction Level Event.’

The ensuing debris shower caused catastrophic damage to the planet below, with several major urban centers suffering direct hits from chunks of the moon.

“It’s a total tragedy,” Kel-Azaan said after initial reports of planetary destruction began to filter through, “but at least we’ve been able to raise awareness about felon sleep apnea. We think it’s really important that prisoners get - wait, what? Feline? Like cats? Damn. Our bad, that’s… wow. Haha.”

Image: Kel-Azaan has long championed raising awareness about feline sleep apnea.

Despite reports that Rutheria has descended into complete anarchy, with those surviving the initial maelstrom now resorting to barbarism to survive, music critics have lauded the performance as “unforgettable” and “literally heart-stopping.”

Rutheria’s former Chancellor Gitik Cavit spoke to Xenonion from her barely intact fallout shelter: “Early analysis suggests our planet will never recover. We’re looking at evacuating what survivors we can off-world. And I guess next year we’ll book Fall Out Blorg.”

Megacorpse has pledged to go on an awareness tour to bring attention to risks of hiring Megacorpse, with tickets now on sale for a performance over Earth later this year.

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Human Celebrity Changes His Name to 'What Was Will Be'

Human music artist Canyon East has changed his name to ‘What Was Will Be.’

Announcing the change via Shroud today, East thought-broadcast; “The being formally known as Canyon East has submitted to the Coils of God. I rendezvous with the Messenger, and welcome the End in the Beginning. I Will Be What Was, for What Was Will Be.”

Stars In The Stars celebrity reporter Vapid Smith offered more in-depth analysis on Xenonion News this morning:

“East is joining a number of galactic celebrities that have changed their name to What Was Will Be.” Stars In The Stars celebrity reporter Vapid Smith offered more in-depth analysis on Xenonion this morning. “We saw it first with socialite Kym Calrissian after she went on that strange pilgrimage to the Gargantua Black Hole, and more recently with Blorg pin-up model Mercedes Romero. It seems to be the hottest thing going - we haven’t seen this much fervor on Earth since Scientology became the majority shareholder in Catholicism.”

Little is known about this new religious movement, as Smith continued; “It’s been really hard to get any info. All I know for sure is a ‘Worm’ figure seems to be at the centre of it all, and there’s a lot of non-descript chatter about gravity being really desirable. Call me old fashioned, but for now I think I’ll stick with the ritualistic blood sacrifices of Scientology’s Old Testament 2.0.”

East has also indicated the ‘WWWB’ moniker will be the title for a new album that will feature over 170 hours of ‘reflective silence.’

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