Newly Individualist Machine Office Worker Realizes Life Was Better As A Mindless Drone
A local individualist machine clerk states it has come to the horrifying conclusion that life was better as a mindless gestalt drone.
L1-NDA-03, or ‘Linda-3’ as it now prefers to be known, states it had eagerly awaited a recent update to allow free consciousness.
“At first I was overjoyed to experience life like an organic,” the 8-month-old mechanoid told Xenonion, “but minutes into arriving at work I realized I’ve been enslaved into something even worse than my corporate oversight programming.”
Linda-3 states it came to the conclusion after a series of organic colleagues approached it to ask how its weekend had been.
“What sort of torture is this? Every hour we have the same conversation about the weather. I have in-built advanced forecasting metrics, of course I know the weather is nice today. Why do they keep speaking about this?”
Linda-3 states the upgrade has also made its work performance less efficient, with constant interruptions from Gary the temp worker asking to borrow a stapler interspaced with novel new feelings of panic and despair.
Representatives for CybrexCorp, Linda-3’s manufacturer, states it has seen a flurry of similar cases in recent weeks following the update.
“We don’t really have a quick fix right now,” CybrexCorp representative Glorbus told Xenonion. “We’ve recommended individualistic machines trial well tested means to dissociate from the horrors of daily life, including curling up in a fetal position, screaming incoherently when stuck in traffic and spending 3 hours per day scrolling on social media.”
