Lost Colony Knows Exactly Where It Is

NIPS

31 Aug

NEWS IN PICTURES | UNITED NATIONS OF EARTH (UNE) | 31.08.2259

The lost human colony of New Roanoke has confirmed it is fully aware of its own location.

“We’ve always known where we are,” Governor Eliza Montrose told Xenonion. “Our cities are right here on the planet surface. The stars are right above us every night. If anyone’s lost, it’s the United Nations of Earth, because they clearly can’t find us.”

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Ashley Easterbrook

Name: Ashley Easterbrook

AKA: /u/ipser

Species: Blorg

Award winning journalist, former president of the Blorg Commonality and runner up in ‘Blorg’s Next Top Fungoid’, Ashley Easterbrook joined the Comet News Network in 2111 as chief political correspondent. Aged 160, Ashley’s sturdy flagella bring decades of experience and tasty tacos to the news team.

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